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Dear Deployment: Love, Denise

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

So excited to introduce the first post of this new series called: “Dear Deployment…” where readers send in their letters written to deployment. If you are interested in being a part of this series please see instructions here: Dear Deployment Blog Feature.

Dear DeploymentDear First Deployment,

I thought I was prepared for you. We had about four months notice but since I had never met you before that was not nearly enough time. You came along in our first year of marriage and without being invited. You strung us along never telling us when you would stop and I do not know what to say other then I did not like you very much.

We were told when you were coming but we were never told how long you would be around or how hard your were going to be on us. You did a few nice things: you taught us how strong we are, you allowed us to know what it really means to rely on God, and you confirmed that we were going to make it through anything. I would have preferred you never came along, but I cannot say I am worse for having met you. You helped me figure out some things about myself at a fast pace.

Looking back now, almost nine years later, I know that God used you. You caused 15 months of physical separation, but you created a strong ability to communicate that does not usually happen with newlyweds. So many years later I still do not think I am ready to say thank you, but I can do one thing: forgive you. You did not mean to be so painful and I know you could have been worse. My husband was able to do his job and I was able to support him.

You certainly have a way of bringing a girl to her knees. I lost count of how many nights I spent in weepy prayer. I have heard that the strongest/greatest human emotion is relief and after meeting you I agree.

I am thankful you are behind us but for those who are about to meet you for the first, second, or eighth time I say, be kind to them and teach them what you can.



deployment homecoming
Denise’s homecoming July 2004.

Denise Hiott is a 32 year old full-time mom, wife, and student. She met her husband while in the Army and they went through their first deployment after she had gotten out of the military. On their two year anniversary they had spent less then two months time together, total. They have been married for over ten years now and have four children. They are always amazed at what God has and is carrying them through.

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  1. Wow, This has brought me to tears in a good way and has given me hope. We have not yet experienced a deployment over seas but they are in the near future. I love this blog!

    1. I’m so glad that has helped you Christy! I hope you will come back and read the rest of the letters, I will be posting two a month from different military wives. Good luck and God bless on your deployment in the future!

  2. Denise, Thank you for sharing.
    My plan is to pray for each person whose letter is posted and their families until the next one is posted. Anyone want to join me?

  3. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq–this is our 2nd deployment. It’s oftentimes difficult for me to see the benefit of deployments, however, reading this post has helped me understand how these periods of separation help to strengthen us not only as a couple, but also as individuals. Thanks for the comforting words!

  4. My husband didn’t know I wrote this. I just let him read it and he cried. It was nice to go back and talk about it and take a moment to think about all God has brought us through.

    1. Aww I am so glad you let him read it!! It is always so amazing to see what God has brought us through. Thanks again! 🙂

  5. That moment of re-unification is truly one of the best moments in our lives isn’t it? I remember when my husband came back from the ground war in Iraq. I wish we’d had someone taking pictures. I’ll never forget those feelings of anticipation, excitement, love… thankfulness! This is a great series!

  6. Oh I can’t imagine how hard this would be, but I can imagine how strong you and your husband have become and will become. Thanks for sharing a beautifully written post! Over from the SITS Girls and wishing you luck and love and family this year!

    1. Hi Winter (beautiful name!),
      Thank you so much for stopping by. It is SO hard going through deployment, but it definitely makes you a stronger person and brings you together as a couple. 🙂 Thanks again have a wonderful year!

  7. I am not a military wife but I am so glad you are doing this. I have alot of military friends who I have supported through deployment and it is soooo hard on everyone. Your post made me tear up. I am glad I found you on SITS this morning.

    1. Hi Haley,
      Thank you so much for commenting! I am so glad you enjoyed reading this and it sounds like you have been such a good friend toy our military friends and I will ll be honest, that is hard to find in a civilian. Glad you found me too, thanks again and have a great day!

  8. As I read this it made me think of some things I wrote through our first deployment and some of the emotions at the time…Its amazing the strength that one person can find when needed and what an amazing connection and ability to communicate a deployment can give to a couple… My husband has been in the service for many years and has spent more time overseas than in the states so for him deployment met MISSION the separation was nothing but that go do what is needed and then there was me and on our first deployment together I was pregnant and gave birth to our first baby girl and the timing just happened to be so that his two weeks RnR came just 4days after her birth so he actually got to arrive home the very night I got released from the hospital. A wonderful thing to see such an amazing bond between such a small being and a grown man so instantly. As I look back on that deployment I think how in the world did i do it…Stationed in a place that snowed feet not inches an hour..shoveling while super pregnant, birthing my first child and raising her for the first 8months of her life on my own as well as working. … all a billion miles from family …but that year is the year I pull strength from for all the challenges that military life has handed us over the past years.. My husband is yet again on deployment and we recently had our son whom is our miracle baby. So as Murphy’s law did find us, as always, I pulled up my big girl panties, strapped on my boots and said ok “let’s do this” I will march in your boots be that rock for us all, make sure my kids know your present even if you are a million miles away. I will smile when I want to cry when I hear your voice on the other end. I will be the wife, mother,nurse, home stationed hero that is needed to keep our family afloat. When I said “I Do” …. I said ” I Will” not “I Can’t” … I was not blind to the fact that the “Mission” comes above all, but the beauty of this is the knowing that in all your dedication to the Soldier you are is driven by the love and dedication to your family and the dreams you have for them. In each longing moment I know without words your heart is here with us and our job is to keep your mind there for all.
    So to all my fellow spouses I say God Bless and remember that his strength builds from yours.

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