The Reality of Deployment

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As the days and months have gone by I have put thoughts of deployment aside, almost able to pretend (but not quite) that it would never happen. Now that we are getting close to it, reality has set in. My husband is going to be gone for months. In my head I hear, I can’t do this. But in my heart I know that’s not true. I can do this even if it’s hard.

Here is the reality that deployment is for me:

I wish… he could stay and never leave again.
Reality is… that just can’t happen, every family has some kind of time apart even if some are short and some are long.

I wish… I had family that lived closer to help me get through.
Reality is… I don’t. Not everyone can live close to their family. I can’t always rely on family, I have to learn to be independent.

I wish… that the deployment was shorter.
Reality is… it could be longer. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I wish… there was a better time for this to happen.
Reality is… there will never be a better time for a deployment.

I wish… I didn’t have to do this.
Reality is… I don’t really have an option. I will get through this because I have to, and because God is with me.

God knew a long time ago this deployment would come. I almost feel as though everything in my life up to this point has prepared me, to make me even stronger so that I could get through this with God’s help. A deployment is a big deal. Being a single mom for the next months is a big deal, but at the end of this, I am going to come out stronger. I am going to be able to say, “God is good no matter what,” and I am going to be able to look and see what I came through and say, “Wow.”

No military wife wants her husband to deploy, but the reality is we have no choice in the matter. But maybe just maybe something good will come from this, because God is in control and he knows what is going to happen. The reality is it won’t be easy. The reality is it’s going to be really hard. But the reality is God is still here and walking me through, and I am not alone.

Military Wives: When did this reality moment hit you?
Have you ever had a time where reality hit, but you knew everything was still going to be ok?

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  1. We are nearing the half way point to our year long deployment and I felt like we would never get to this point.. Some days i feel like it is never gonna get easier and how can we possibly make it 6 more months.. but the reality is life goes on and day by day we make it and one day it will be over and our husbands will come back home. Its hard to find reality in the midst of a bad day but its good to stop and let a reality check sink in.. It is going to happen, there is nothing we can do to change it so we might as well make the best of it. 🙂

  2. You can do it! It's tough at first, but once you find your stride and work yourself into your routine, it does get a little easier. <3

  3. My husband has only done a 16 month deployment and a 12 month deployment. We're lucky in the fact that we have been married for almost 7 years and he has only been away for about 3.5 years of our marriage due to deployments, TDY's, and training. We know far more couples who haven't been has fortunate.

    War is ugly. I have received countless notification phone calls, attended far too many memorial services, and witnessed far fewer men return home than we originally sent to war. I have gone weeks without any sort of communication with my husband due to dangerous missions and he missed the entire first year with our son. But I do it because my husband and I believe that we are part of something that is greater than ourselves. Good luck with your first deployment!

  4. I think for Matt's first deployment, it was SO STRESSFUL leading up to it just because I had no idea what to expect. I was worried and anxious and just miserable. It got better after he finally left.

    With this second deployment, I was pretty okay leading up to it. We have been through so many weeks of workups though that I was just ready for deployment to happen. Matt was home a total of about 2 months in 2011, even though he's deployed for just 7 months (because the workups added up to about 3 months of him being gone). I think the workups were worse than actual deployment because as soon as I adjusted to being alone, he was home, and as soon as we adjusted to living together again, he was home. It resulted in a lot of fighting and being tense with each other for no reason.

    Basically– its going to suck until it happens, and then it's going to suck while it's happening. And then one day, it is going to suck less, and eventually, you won't notice how much it sucks. And then he'll come home. :]

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