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As the days and months have gone by I have put thoughts of deployment aside, almost able to pretend (but not quite) that it would never happen. Now that we are getting close to it, reality has set in. My husband is going to be gone for months. In my head I hear, I can’t do this. But in my heart I know that’s not true. I can do this even if it’s hard.
Here is the reality that deployment is for me:
I wish… he could stay and never leave again.
Reality is… that just can’t happen, every family has some kind of time apart even if some are short and some are long.
I wish… I had family that lived closer to help me get through.
Reality is… I don’t. Not everyone can live close to their family. I can’t always rely on family, I have to learn to be independent.
I wish… that the deployment was shorter.
Reality is… it could be longer. I have a lot to be thankful for.
I wish… there was a better time for this to happen.
Reality is… there will never be a better time for a deployment.
I wish… I didn’t have to do this.
Reality is… I don’t really have an option. I will get through this because I have to, and because God is with me.
God knew a long time ago this deployment would come. I almost feel as though everything in my life up to this point has prepared me, to make me even stronger so that I could get through this with God’s help. A deployment is a big deal. Being a single mom for the next months is a big deal, but at the end of this, I am going to come out stronger. I am going to be able to say, “God is good no matter what,” and I am going to be able to look and see what I came through and say, “Wow.”
No military wife wants her husband to deploy, but the reality is we have no choice in the matter. But maybe just maybe something good will come from this, because God is in control and he knows what is going to happen. The reality is it won’t be easy. The reality is it’s going to be really hard. But the reality is God is still here and walking me through, and I am not alone.
Military Wives: When did this reality moment hit you?
Have you ever had a time where reality hit, but you knew everything was still going to be ok?