You Know Your Spouse is Deployed When…

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Let’s face it. Deployments are NOT made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Although sometimes I wish they were. So what are they made of? Everything not so nice I assure you. Except for homecomings. Homecomings are nice.

Let me explain….

This past weekend I faced one of the biggest things I was afraid of happening while my husband was deployed – the stomach flu. You can laugh all you want, but this was seriously a big worry of mine, and let me tell you it hit really bad. My son had it Saturday night, I had it all day Sunday, then my son had it again all through the night Sunday night and Monday morning. Let’s just say Tuesday was the first day we had with no puke.

My Valentine’s Day wish was just to be able to take a shower because I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to and my hair still smelled like throw-up. It was a long weekend full of calls to the doctor and worrying about my son being dehydrated, but we made it through somehow.

I will admit there was a time right there in the middle of me getting sick with my son crying and hanging onto me at the same time that I just wanted to lay on the floor and give up. I was done. The stomach flu is bad enough, but without your husband or anyone else to take care of you? Yeah, that’s hard.

So before we go any further, here’s the real 411 on what happens when your spouse is deployed.

You Know Your Spouse is Deployed When...

Your Spouse is Deployed When…

  • Everything falls apart.
  • Your lease expires and you had no idea.
  • Your family was in a car accident.
  • Your car breaks down.
  • Your car starts smoking.
  • Your car gets towed.
  • You have to find a car place that won’t take you for all your money.
  • Your house gets broken into.
  • Every appliance in the house breaks.
  • You lose access to your joint bank account.
  • You get sick multiple times.
  • Your child gets sick multiple times.
  • Your child throws up all over your computer and it was the one you used to Skype with your spouse.
  • Your child has to be admitted to the hospital.
  • Your car’s brake lights go out at once. Yes, both of them.
  • Your internet breaks multiple times and you spend hours on the phone trying to get it fixed.
  • The house floods.
  • You spend your anniversary away from home and away from your spouse.
  • You spend Christmas (and every other holiday) without your spouse.
  • You spend your birthday without your spouse.
  • You find out your child needs to be tested for Autism.
  • Your spouse’s family member dies.
  • Your family member dies.
  • You barely get sleep the entire time they are gone.
  • You feel like a zombie the entire time.
  • You don’t shave for months.
  • You can get away with not going grocery shopping every week
  • The dog runs away.
  • You feed the kids cereal and pizza for breakfast.
  • The phone becomes your new best friend.
  • The computer becomes your new best friend.
  • Skype becomes your new best friend.
  • You get re-acquainted with your email.
  • You eat more candy than you actually send in your spouse’s care package.
  • The laundry makes it into the basket, instead of the floor.
  • You lose weight.
  • You learn many things about yourself and others.
  • Your military friends become your family.

Scared yet? I was. But I survived and so will YOU!

What about YOU? Have any of these happened when your spouse was deployed?

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    1. Sometimes I feel like I am and other times not so much, it just goes with the day. He is, he has said so several times. He just has a lot to deal with too right now.

  1. You rock Kathryn! I knew that this deployment would be hard for you but I knew it would make you stronger! It’s amazing how much you can get through when you don’t have a choice but to just do it! Hang in there – soon this will all seem like just a bad dream!!!!!!

    1. Yeah that’s all true. I just wish it wasn’t so hard sometimes. I can’t wait for the “bad dream” feeling right now that seems years away…

      1. Sometimes they don’t realize how hard it is for us while they are in a deployment mindset. I know that Russ didn’t really have a clue what I went through until he got back and realized what my life was like. Feeling unappreciated by your spouse during a deployment is normal. Just knowthat you both have hard jobs and you will never be able to completely understand what the other goes through.

        1. Yeah I know that. And he has said several times that he is proud of me and that I am strong. I try hard to remember what he is going through too. Sometimes is just hard because we are both having days where we just need the other’s encouragement, but when we need it on the same day we are both too drained to pick each other up. It’s hard, mainly because I want to be an encouragement for him, but sometimes it’s just not in me when I’ve had an awful day and am in need of encouragement myself. I’m sure you understand.

          1. Oh yes we have been there sooooooo many times! and honestly above all I think that was the hardest part of the deployment. When they are home if you both have bad days you can at least hug and cuddle when you have nothing else to give, but when you are apart it’s just excruciating when you know they need encouragement but you are so exhausted from dealing with everything on the homefront. Normal. It’s just the nature of the beast.

  2. Oh my, you have been through the wringer! Way to go on keeping your head up and staying strong! You are an amazing woman and momma! I hope that you and your son stay healthy! You are all in my prayers!!

  3. Wow! I’m amazed that you’re staying so positive through all of this. That’s wonderful! We’ll be going through our first deployment next month, so I hope I handle things the same.

    1. Not always. I have other posts that talked about my discouragement and thoughts during this deployment. I have just been pushed to my limit about now, and I think that at this point nothing can really phase me. I’m sorry about your upcoming deployment, I know you will do well even if it’s hard!

  4. When the hubs went on active duty, crazy things happened here too! It was a total wake up call to how much he *really* does around the house and how much I really need him in my life! Hoping you have a calm, easy, non-disastrous rest of deployment. 🙂

  5. The stomach flu is my biggest fear too! I hope I don’t have to face a list like yours during deployment but if I do then I hope I survive it like you.

  6. You have been through so much, and I always wished I lived close to be able to help you. I love your attitude, though. You’re stronger than you even realized! That said, I hope the rest of the deployment flies by. 🙂

    1. That would be nice. I would love to have you live close by! I’m trying to have a good attitude, but it is still hard sometimes. I think this deployment HAS shown me how much I am stronger. It is a good thing, even though it was rough.

  7. 1. I LOVED this post…Not because of all you are going through but because it lays out EXACTLY what happens when the husband deploys….
    2. I also loved it because I thought, ” Yep, that happened to me, happened to my friend when her husband was deployed…” Ugh, I know the feeling to well.
    3. What I loved the most was how you ended it….BRING IT ON. Military wives are the strongest women out there!

    1. Thanks you Carey. And I agree, military wives ARE the strongest women out there. I know so many military wives who have been through so much I admire them so much. They Rock!

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