2 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Befriending a Military Spouse

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Being a military spouse for almost eight years now, I have heard it all when it comes to reasons for or against befriending a military spouse. Many people tend to stay away from befriending military spouses based on things they have heard or what little they think they know about military spouses.

Some of the reasons I have heard are things like:

  • Military spouses have too much drama in their lives.
  • Military friendships require too much work.
  • Military spouses move too many times and it’s hard to get close only to have them move away.

Sure, military spouse friendships may require more work and yes, it is hard when we move around a lot, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be friends with us! Here are two reasons I believe you should get to know and befriend a military spouse no matter how short their time at their duty station may be.

2 Questions to ask Yourself Before Befriending a Military Spouse

Before Befriending a Military Spouse, Ask Yourself…

1. What can I learn from them?
Military spouses have had to learn some tough lessons. Many of travelled and lived in various parts of the world, many of lived most of their lives away from their hometown, their family, and their friends, and many have learned how to be self-reliant and resilient due to deployments.

So ask yourself, what can this military spouse teach you? What lessons could you learn from them? Whether you only get to know them for a few weeks or months or even a few years, you may be surprised at how they will touch your life and you may end up with a long-term friendship even if it is long-distance!

2. What can they learn from me? 
Just because you aren’t a military spouse doesn’t mean that you haven’t learned a thing or two. What lessons have you had to learn or what things have you gone through that could help another military spouse out?

Whether it’s supporting them through something you’ve been through too, bringing over a meal, or offering a hug, you may be surprised at how you could touch their lives in a special way and end up with a lasting friendship.

So next time you think there is no point in befriending a military spouse, ask yourself these two questions. I think you will find that there are plenty of reasons to befriending or getting to know a military spouse no matter how short the time is. God brings us people in our lives for reason, so make sure you make the most of it!

What about YOU? Do you like befriending military spouses? Have you ever chose not to befriend a military spouse for specific reason?

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  1. I find it hard to fathom that people would be that shallow. People come into your life for a second , for a moment, for a season, for a lifetime. Each comes with lessons and experiences and adventures. I hope people will keep their minds and hearts open.

    1. I think you’d be very very surprised. A lot of people don’t want to be friends with a military spouse because of how often they move. Many don’t see the point in it. Sounds like you have a great view of it though!

  2. I have a couple military spouses that I’ll keep in touch with during this whole military adventure. I’ve made better connections with others outside of our military life. I’ve kind of taken a new stance when it comes to making friends and that’s just to go with the flow things and take every situation one by one. I avoid drama at all costs because it’s an unnecessary evil. I know it’s so easy to get caught up in the unfavorable parts of the military life, so I have a tendency to distance some who just complain about everything that we have zero control over. Great post and thank you for sharing!

    1. I totally love the advice you give here. I think I do the same thing, however I’ve learned to be more careful with friendships because people turn very easily. But taking each situation one by one is great advice and something everyone needs to do. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Great post, Kathryn! I haven’t encountered anyone not wanting to be my friend after I became a military spouse, but a lot of my pre-military friendships have changed quite a bit. Our lifestyles are sometimes worlds apart so it’s hard to keep that connection strong. It’s a learning process for me to explain what I need and for them to understand it.

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