10 Tough Things About Being a Military Wife

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tough things about being a military wifeYesterday Wives of Faith had us list 10 things we loved about being a military wife, and today it’s the reasons why it’s so tough. Although this may sound like complaining, this is more of a way to make people aware of the things military spouses go through and deal with on a regular basis. The challenge is for every tough aspect we list, list a way to deal with it or over come it. I am sure after I have been a military wife lot longer, my list will change, but as of right now here is my list in no particular order.

10 Tough Things About Being a Military Wife

1. Deployments
These are I think the number one reason to dislike being a military wife. Nobody likes deployments, worrying about our husbands and being lonely at home, but we all have to go through with them.
Ways to Deal:
As a lot of people said in their posts yesterday, deployments are a way to help us grow. Ways to deal are to seek support of others: from God, friends, and church. It’s still not easy, but it definitely helps to have support!

2. Being Away From Friends and Family
Here is on that has been tough for me. I really miss being away from friends and family. I miss Florida so much, and get sad when I see people on facebook, who get to go to Florida all the time. I know it’s part of the military life, but that still does not make it easy.

Ways to Deal:
I don’t think anything can make up for your own friends and family, but making new friends where you are stationed helps a lot.

3. Loneliness
Because we are away from friends and family, I find that loneliness can creep in a lot. Loneliness is especially bad when your husband is gone as well. Sometimes just being home alone all day just makes for a rough day.

Ways to Deal:
Talk to God. Tell Him you are lonely and remember He is always with you. Spend time with friends as you can, that helps a lot and keeps your mind off the loneliness.

4. Moving
For military members moving is a part of life, and sometimes that can be difficult after moving so many times, or moving while you have kids. It’s hard to adjust each time, and hard to leave friends behind and make new ones.

Ways to Deal:
Make it fun, and have a good attitude!

5. Work Schedule
My husband is on call a lot, and that means he can get called in at anytime day or night. We have been in the middle of church and had to leave, and he almost missed Easter Sunday as well. It can be very frustrating.

Ways to Deal:
Have a good attitude and find other stuff to do do keep busy if he has to work.

6. Finding Your Place After a Move
After moving so many times, it gets hard to each time make new friends, find a new church, and find your place in the community. Sometimes it only takes a little while other times it can take months depending on where you live.

Ways to Deal:
Reach out to others, volunteer, find military wives groups.

7. Having to go to the Military Doctors.
I could go on and on about this one because I have a lot to say on the matter after having a lot of problems with the Doctors we see here on this base, but I won’t. I do like the health care coverage, but I wish we were allowed to go ahead and choose our own doctors who are not part of the base and who have more schooling.

Ways to Deal:
Pray. Be patient. Pray.

8. Not being able to Plan Ahead
This is a big one for me, because I am a person who likes to plan ahead. The military just does not let you do that. You cannot plan too much because anything could change at anytime, any number of times. It’s just the way of military life and I have come to expect it.

Ways to Deal:
Know that you cannot always plan, and be prepared for change no matter what.

9. Drama
I did not realize how much drama was involved with being a military wife or even having a husband in the military. I do my part to stay out of it, but even my husband tells me stories of things that he deals with and it amazes me how drama is even in the military!
Ways to Deal:
Stay away from it, and know that drama will probably be there no matter where you go!

10. Being Supportive
I know this may sound weird, but sometimes with all the things we go through like those that I mentioned above, it sometimes gets really hard to be supportive of your husband. Especially after he mentions he is going on another deployment, going back to work after he just got home, or is going to miss a certain even because he will be working or deployed.
Ways to Deal:
Ask God to help you be supportive no matter what. Remember that he needs the encouragement just as much as you do!

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  1. Kathryn,
    I totally forgot to tell you this, but thank you so much for your sacrifice in being a military wife… tell your husband thank you too for me. Because he is fighting for our freedom…you're holding down the fort at home…and soon little Adam will have to deal with it too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    Praying for you! How's the pregnancy going? You can email me at missbear@skybeam.com.
    Love in Christ,

  2. I enjoyed reading your blogs, this blog carnival is a great idea, I love finding new blogs to read! I really like the way you added "ways to deal" at the ends of your tough things. Great post!

  3. this is a great list!
    I really like how you included "ways to deal"

    thank you for sharing =)

  4. wow! military life is tough!! I know all those things to be true… but ugh, i've never thought about them all at one time! lol. May God give us supernatural peace and strength!!

  5. I lol'ed when you mentioned drama. That was one of my biggest surprises as well – I expected instant friends and got soap opera instead 😀 Love your Ways to Deal additions!

  6. Oh my gosh the drama is absurd! Its like, "Are we suddenly back in junior high?" and the doctors… I wanna see my own woman health doctor bot someone in boots and camo between my legs… Oh well, complaining does nothing right?

    ♥ Mrs. S.

  7. I must have been a military dependent for too long. I don't think I would even be able to some up with 5 tough things about being a military wife.

    When reading all of yours a lot of them are just so familiar to me that I don't view them as tough… just the way life is. haha

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