Another Update

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It has been awhile since I have written in my blog, and even though I have tried several times, I have not been able to come up with the right words that I want to say. It has been a long several months, and I have been kind of angry and bitter in a way with everything that has happened, and I just could not write in here until I got it all worked out with myself.

I am thrilled to pieces that I am pregnant again, and currently I am at 13 weeks and Friday I have my second appointment where I will get to listen to the heart beat! I am so thankful that God has given me another child to carry after he decided to take the first one to be with Him.

So in a way I was very happy when I found out I was pregnant, but at the same I was also very scared. I was scared because I didn’t know if I would miscarry again, and would that would mean. Around that time I also found I had thyroid problems. I was upset because the base doctors had known for 3 months and never said a word about it. I struggled to get an appointment because I knew that something was wrong. I had gained 30 lbs and no matter how much I worked out or tried to eat less, I was still steadily gaining.

After going to doctors and specialists and being pulled around so many times, we have finally got it under control. I am being monitored every month or two when they draw blood, and I have actually lost a few pounds.

The reason why I could not write in my blog, was this was supposed to be an uplifting and encouraging blog. I certainly didn’t feel positive after all this, and I didn’t want to be hypocritical and pretend everything was alright either. I struggled with the weight thing for awhile because very few of my clothes fit anymore, it wasn’t from the pregnancy because I wasn’t that far along enough yet. I think also being scared about miscarrying, trying to be hopeful but yet, still worried, when I wasn’t supposed to be was hard.

One day, after a particular church service that spoke to my heart, I realized that I had been so grumpy about all this for so long that I knew I needed to change. I talked to God about it, and am definitely getting past it all! Now that I am (hopefully) past all the morning sickness, and everything else, I would like to get back to writing in my blog again. There is so much to talk about. About becoming a mother, and all kinds of other things so I am excited!

Thank you all for the continuing comments, I read them, but have not written back yet, but I appreciate every one of them!

Here is a picture from last week at 12 weeks pregnant! 🙂

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  1. This is just too crazy; after reading this post I quickly checked the calendar and figured that we really must be due at the same time (perhaps, not the exact date, but very close). Second, I'm actually glad to see that you're already showing because I am as well. I was pretty well in denial about it because it was so early that I didn't give in and admit it until just last Wednesday. haha.

    I'm glad to hear that the Lord is still working in you and He will help you focus on the positive. I understand your frustration, but the mere fact that you've got a precious baby growing inside you is enough to make you smile from ear to ear.

  2. Hey girlie! It is SO good to hear from you. I was getting really worried about you. Please don't scare us like that again. :0) I was going to email this to you but I couldn't find a way!

    I am going to take the liberty of speaking to you as a friend, and somewhat as a mother of sorts, for a moment. I PRAY I don't offend you. :0)

    This is what I wanted to say….

    This is YOUR blog and we are your FRIENDS! This is a place you should feel free to come and share your life, at least the parts you want/need to. You don't need to feel obligated to ALWAYS be 'uplifting and encouraging'. You are human, my friend! You should feel able to express ALL your feelings, whether they be joy and happiness or even when you feel down right fearful, frustrated, angry, hurt and when you are in pain. That is how we help each other, by being transparent. If you let others know what is truly going on in your life and what you are going through, you never know who you may help by sharing your life and your feelings. There may be someone out there who is going through the EXACT same thing! AND, if you don't share, you may actually rob someone of a blessing by not allowing them to step up and help and encourage YOU!

    So, if you will, think about it and pray about it. I totally understand that you may not want to share every little detail of your life online. I get that sometimes it takes a little while to put it all into words. However, don't hold back just because you don't want to be a burden to anyone or because you are scared you might jinx something. Girl, the Lord is in control and He can use you to touch a lot of lives through this little blog of yours! There are SO many women who are enduring the same exact things you are. You can truly touch some lives with your witness.

    OK, off with my mother hat. :0) I truly hope I have not offended you in any way. My heart is just so heavy for you right now because I know you have been dealing with SO much and probably a lot of it alone.

    Please know that you and your precious family are in my prayers.

    BTW, I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I noticed that you are from Georgia. So am I! Cool!


    Teresa <><

  3. i hope you continue to feel better. I also have been going though a tough time, and i think that when you are down it is ok to write it in your blog it helps get frustrations out and it lets other people know that they are not alone. I love your blog and i also dislike base docs they can not find out what is wrong with my little one

  4. I wanted to comment earlier…and then life happened and I'm just now getting back. I'm puzzled as to why the date on this entry is showing up as November 23???

    Anyhow, thank you for being honest. I agree with the others that you should feel free to be open and share the good AND the bad on here, but only if you are comfortable with that. 🙂

    And finally, you look so cute. I'll keep you in my prayers. 🙂

  5. Hey there! Thanks for visiting my blog. I like your blog too 🙂 Congratulations on your pregnancy. So sorry to hear about your loss 🙁 Looking forward to learning more about you. I love to read too 🙂

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