The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away…
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I know many people have been wondering what has been going on and what the end results are so I thought I would write a note so I only have to explain it once.
Last weekend I started not feeling well. I didn’t think much of it until I was feeling worse and all the symptoms pointed to pregnancy. On Tuesday, I decided to take a home pregnancy test (HPT) and it was positive. I wanted to take a blood test to double check that I was really pregnant. Since my regular Dr. is on base, I had to go there to get blood taken. I waited until Jon got home for lunch and we went to take the blood test. A few minutes after we got home, I realized I had started bleeding. I was immediately so upset, because I couldn’t imagine why I would be bleeding. I called a few people who would know what to do and they said to wait it out because bleeding isn’t always bad. Also, the base would not give us the results from the blood test yet, so I wasn’t totally positive I was pregnant, even thought the HPT was positive.
On Wednesday, I was still bleeding and I was getting restless wondering what I was supposed to do. The base still had not called with my results and so I asked Jon to call and tell them what was going on so they would give us the results. Within 2 minutes someone called me and told me my blood test was positive but I needed to go to the emergency home since I was bleeding. We tried calling around to tricare to see if I could just go to the OB instead, since they could run the same tests the emergency room could, but the base and tricare would not let us. So we went to the Emergency room where they took more blood, and I had two ultrasounds. I spent pretty much all day there, and when we finally got the results, they said it was too early to see anything or to tell what had happened. They told me I was only 4 weeks pregnant and that was too early to see anything in either ultrasound. The blood test came back with my HCG level at 16.8, which is low, but they said it still didn’t mean anything. The doctor left me with the diagnosis of a threatened miscarriage. Which means I could have lost the baby already, I still could lose the baby, or I may stop bleeding and go on to have a normal pregnancy. Basically it was a 50-50 chance. He put me on pelvic rest, and said I needed to take another blood test to see if my HCG levels were going up or down, that was the only way to tell what was happening.
On Thursday, I went to the base again to get a blood test, and we called in a referral so that I was able to go to my OB when we got the results. The base told us that we would get the results that afternoon, and there was nothing, we went over 3 times because they would not tell us over the phone if the results were in yet. Finally they said they would get them on Friday. Friday came and nothing still, Jon did everything he could, but they finally said they had made a mistake and we would not get them until Monday. We called to see if the OB had my referral so we would not have to wait all weekend to get results, but nothing, they would not see me without it.
Yesterday (Monday), we called the base and they told us they had made a mistake and we would not get the results for another 4 days – Friday. I was so upset to still have to wait not knowing either way, so Jon made some phone calls to find out where my referral was and try to get me in to see the OB. Well, come to find out the computers wherever my referral was had been broken, and so the referral hadn’t even been approved yet. Jon made some more phone calls and I was in and able to see the OB that afternoon. We went over, but all she could do is send me to the hospital for another blood test, for same-day results. She said she would call me as soon as she got the results.
After the blood test and several hours later she said that my levels were completely gone and I had lost the baby. Thank you all for your prayers and continued encouragement. Right now I am still trying to understand why I went through this and why I it had to be this hard to get results and why I couldn’t have just found out last week instead of made to wonder, but I am ok. Right now we are taking a week off and are at my in-laws house. I am thankful that the military was able to give Jon off to stay with me all through the waiting and hospital visits. And I am thankful for everyone who has been praying, we appreciate it so much.
Hey…i've been there myself. it's definately rough. just not the right time… you're in the my thoughts!
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like they put you through hell and back trying to figure out what had happened. I am glad at least that your husband was able to be with you and that you are able to be with family during what I am sure is a very painful and confusing time for you. You are in my thoughts.
What a saga! I can't believe what a hard time you had getting answers. Thanks for posting this- I just dropped by to see if you had any news to share. Still praying for you.
So sorry to hear about what happened. Will continue to pray for you. I'm glad that you are able to have the support of your husband and family during this time.
I'm also kinda irritated at the run around you got from the base. I used to work on the base in the hospital and it sounds like you ran into a lot of people that were new to the job or didn't know what they were doing. Hopefully, they will be more on top of their game now.
Praying for God's peace and comfort for you!
Soooo frustrating! That makes me so angry at their health care system! Our military should be getting top of the line care, not all that run around! Another stomp on nationalizing health care. O.K. Now I feel a little better having gotten all of that out. First off, I'm so sorry for yall. I'm sorry that it happened and I'm sorry about the way it happened. What agony! Finally, yall have closure and can find resolution. I have found that part of life's greatest struggle is having to go on with unanswered questions. Sounds like you have a gem of a man and I'm so glad he was able to be with you during all of this. My prayers stay with you.
I'm praying for you that God will help you get stronger and get better! I am sure it's a difficult time for you so i hope getting some time off it's the best way for you to get your mind rested!
Much blessings!
I am so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you and Jon through this hard time. I pray that God gives you the strength to overcome and heal.
im so sorry to hear about your frustrating experience. almost 2 years i had to experience a house fire which i lost everything and to make a long story short, i did not recieve compensation or my belongings back (even the belongings that were spared of the fire) and i questioned God for so long why I had to be put through that. Almost exactly 1 year later my best friend went through the same exact thing. She told me that from everyone who had been there to support her, I was the only one who she felt understood her and the way she was feeling. After a year, God answered me. Remember that God has a reason and a plan for everything , big or little.
sorry for the looonnng post but i felt the background story was necessary. i hope you feel better soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Im very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be and how confused you are. I love this quote and I hope it isnt to bold of me to put it in this comment, or that it doesnt make you feel worse. My sister in law has it up in their house after a very similar experience and its been a comfort to her.
"In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."
I know one day God will bless you with a Rainbow Baby and you will be an amazing mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs to you, sweetie. No words can comfort…I know, I've been there. May God's peace blanket you – perfect peace.
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you are having to endure this trial. I know there is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do that will make it make sense or make it any better, so I won't even try. I will just tell you that I'm thinking of you and praying that our Lord will hold you close and give you all the strength, and eventually peace, you need to make it through this very difficult time in your life.
I will leave you with this scripture that has comforted me through some very, very difficult times in my life.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
In Christ's Love,
Teresa <><
http://toomanyheartbeats.blogspot.com/