Thoughts From a Mom Who has Also Believed “God Isn’t Fixing This”

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Yesterday, as I was at the hospital with daughter during her 9th hospital stay. I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed while she was resting in my lap. Over and over I started seeing news about the picture below and the headline, “GOD ISN’T FIXING THIS.”

I was angry at first, but then I grieved. I grieved for the people who have no faith. I grieved for the people who didn’t have anything to believe in. I grieved for the people who feel helpless. I grieved for the people who didn’t know what else to do. But most of all I grieved for the many many people all over the world who really believe, “God isn’t fixing this.” I grieved because I have been there. Over and over and over.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” when my parents got divorced.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” when I had suicidal thoughts after the divorce as a teenager.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” when I miscarried our first child.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” when my son was diagnosed with autism.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” over and over while my medically complicated daughter suffered through multiple surgeries, many procedures and 9 hospital stays.

I believed “God isn’t fixing this” when the stress, panic attacks, and the anxiety became too much.

And sometimes I still believe “God isn’t fixing this” when I see the horrible horrible things that happen around the world.

But in my anger, bitterness, and grief over the years, I’ve realized that sometimes there’s a reason that “God isn’t fixing this.” Sometimes there’s a reason for the things that are happening. Sometimes there’s something we are supposed to learn. Sometimes bad things happen because there is free will and we have to live with other’s bad choices.

But amid it all, I’ve realized that while “God isn’t fixing this,” He is still there. He’s there grieving right alongside us, just hoping we turn to Him instead of away. He’s there in the known and the unknown. He’s there in the people he puts in your paths to help you through. Looking back, I see God in all the hard things of my life.

I see Him there when my parents got divorced.

I see Him there while going through months of suicidal thoughts after the divorce.

I see Him there with me as I cried over my first miscarriage.

I see Him there in the Psychologist’s office when my son was diagnosed with autism.

I see Him there during all of my daughter’s surgeries, procedures, tests, and hospital stays.

I see Him there during every panic attack, each moment of anxiety, and each time I thought I couldn’t make it one more day.

And I see Him there during the many mass shootings, killings, and other horrible things that go on in our world.

No, He isn’t fixing it, but He’s still there. Through every horrible moment, through all the pain, and through all the fear.

He’s there in the tragedy where no one knows what’s going on or who is safe and who is not.

He’s there in tragedy where fear has taken over.

He’s there in the tragedy when another victim passes away.

He’s there in the tragedy in the stories you hear about the people who were miraculously saved.

He’s there in the tragedy with the first responders who put their lives on the line.

He’s there in the tragedy with the civilians who put their own lives at risk to help another.

He’s there in the tragedy with the doctors and nurses who work to save another life.

He’s there. We may not know the reasons why these things happen, but He’s still there waiting for you to put your faith in Him. How will you choose to respond? Will you reach out to Him?