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In One Word: Deployment

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I have not posted in over a week and I think that this is the first time this has happened since starting my blog. Usually I will have some type of post either scheduled or a guest blogger if I know I am not going to post, but over the past couple of weeks, I have just been silent. Silent because for once I have had nothing to say. Sure I have had a myriad of ideas for posts dancing around in my head, but I honestly just could not write.

I don’t know if it’s because I am too busy, because I am just so wrapped up in everything this deployment is throwing at me, or if it’s just that I needed a break to learn, grow, and do other things. This deployment had opened up my eyes to things I never knew before. To things I thought I understood because I am a military wife, but things I never could understand until I experienced it for myself. It’s a whole new world.

I am learning things about myself, my husband, and my family and friends. I am learning how to handle things that are thrown at me, and I am learning how to handle them without falling apart at the seams. I am learning that marriage takes work, it takes prayer, and it takes love and patience. I am learning that being a mother is not as easy as I once thought. I am learning a lot.

In the four weeks that he has been gone, I have done things that I was never prepared to do. I never thought I would have to prepare myself to tell my husband that a family member of his only has 6 months to live. Sure, nothing prepares you for that, but finding the time between 12-18 hour work shifts, messed up skype calls, and several emails, now that – that is hard work. I was not prepared to encourage my husband, even when I felt so discouraged that I had nothing to say. I was not prepared to fix cars, break lights, internet connections, and PS3’s, but here I was all this past week troubleshooting with friends, family, and neighbors trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I was not even prepared for the changes my husband has been through where he is. Three different rooms, and approximately 15 different roommates later… Then there is the shift change, the sleeping patterns, and the job change.

And all through this I have realized… it’s all out of my control. None of this is controlled by me. Not the things that happen, not the outcomes, and certainly not the future. I try to control it, but I can’t. I just have to step back and say, “God, it’s yours.” And do you know what He says? “That’s what I have been waiting for all along.”

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  1. Once again, Kathryn, this post is exactly what I needed to read. Sometimes I forget that he has a plan for everyone and the things we go through shape us into who He wants us to be. Hang in there!

  2. Thank you Kathryn – it is just HA R D to come to that (I am still not there)!! Did want you to know that your comment before about dealing with USAA has helped me – I finally got my USAA account going, instead of always using my husbands, so thank you for that reminder! Thank you for blogging!!

    1. Yup SO hard! You will get there, it takes time. I’m so glad that helped! Glad my experiences can help others. 🙂 I appreciate you commenting!

  3. great post Kathryn…letting go of control and letting Him have it all sure made deployments a lot easier for me 🙂
    I do hope that things get a little easier for you

  4. Oh, girl I completely understand. Deployment is HARD and you find yourself doing things you either thought you’d never do or always hoped you wouldn’t have to do. A few months into Joe’s deployment, I had to tell him via Skype that his grandpa passed away. =( It wasn’t necessarily unexpected, but it was still hard…for both of us. Thankfully, no matter how hard it gets, God will always be there for us. I hope it gets easier for you. HUGS!

    1. Wow girl. I am afraid I am going to have to do that. Having to tell him he probably will pass before he gets back was hard enough. 🙁 That is so true. So glad we have God on our side! 🙂 Thanks for commenting I appreciate it!

  5. Thank you Kathryn, what you wrote is really beautiful – particularly the last line.
    Let go, and let God – I needed to be reminded. 🙂
    Lots of love to you.

  6. Once again, Kathryn, SO incredibly beautifully put! I’m so thankful I took the time to read this tonight. It was such an encouragement. Sometimes, of course, you know God is in control deep down, but when everything seems crazy, it’s hard to keep that perspective. And then…God comes along and uses someone such as yourself…and in just a few words, your spirit is lifted and refreshed. Thank you so much!

    Still in our prayers and hope you have a wonderful holiday!
    Hugs 🙂

    1. Thank you Kim. I am so glad I was able to help put it in perspective for you. And you are so right! It is hard when everything seems crazy. Thanks for the comment I really appreciate it!

  7. One thing that God keeps on teaching me is that He is control. I know it’s pretty tough right now but I guess that’s all we could hold on to. God is in control =) He loves you…

    I hope you get to enjoy life still.. Breathe.. Live… Love… Enjoy life =)

    1. I totally agree, and thank you for that. It’s so hard to remember sometimes. Thanks for the sweet comment I appreciate it!

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