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I’ve watched a lot friends who are military spouses go through deployment. I have seen how differently each one deals with the news of an upcoming deployment and how they deal with the pre-deployment stress and emotions.
Right now I am in that pre-deployment stage. While thinking about this the other day, I realized there are about five different stages military spouses seem to go through before deployment. This isn’t anything official, but just a few things I have noticed over the years. Military.com also talks about this pre-deployment cycle if you are looking for more info on it!
5 Stages of Pre-Deployment
Here are the five stages of pre-deployment, starting from the moment your spouse gets his orders, right up to him leaving for deployment.
Your husband comes home with orders and tells you he will be deploying. You think:
This is a joke.
He’s just kidding right?
There is no way he got orders… again.
Nope, there must have been a mistake.
There must have been a mix-up.
These are really for someone else, I just know they are.
After your husband assures you that it’s not a joke, you move on to the next stage. You think:
I can’t believe this is happening.
How could this happen so soon?
Why did this happen to us?
I just can’t believe it.
Maybe this is just a dream…
*pinch* Nope, definitely not a dream.
Soon your disbelief turns into anger. Of course you are looking for someone to blame so you blame him and you blame the military. You think:
I hate the military.
I hate this life.
Why did he choose this?
Why is he leaving me?
He can’t leave me like this.
I can’t do this on my own.
We will never get this time back again.
I will never get past this.
Then your anger turns to sadness. But not just sadness, it turn to tears. You think:
I can’t do this.
I don’t want to do this.
I don’t want to be alone.
What am I going to do?
What happens if something goes wrong?
What if there is an emergency?
I CANNOT do this!!
But in the end, you slowly move into acceptance. You know it’s happening whether you want it to or not. You think:
Ok, I can do this.
I don’t want to do this, but I can do this.
We are going to make it through.
Let’s get this going.
The sooner he’s gone the sooner he can be back.
You get your count-downs ready, make all your plans, keep busy, and you do it. And you do it well. Because you are a military spouse and you can get through this!
What do YOU think? Do these stages of pre-deployment sound familiar? Did you go through any of these prior to a deployment? Which ones?