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Valentine’s Day is coming soon and with that brings many thoughts and questions among singles and those who are married. What is love? What does it really mean? While I’ve only been married a few years now, I feel like I have a better understanding of what that word is and what it means. While it may mean different things to different people, here’s what it means to me.
Love: What is it really?
When I think about love and falling in love, I think about the many things we hear about it today. Many people believe it is a choice. Some say there is no such thing as, “falling in love” or “love at first sight.” I think this is partially true. It is a choice, something you choose each and every single day. But at the same time, I also believe you can fall in love with someone.
When people use the phrase, “fall in love” it just means that they met someone and in time came to love that person very much. It could mean that they did not expect to find it in that way or with that particular person, but yet they fell in love with them anyway. This is why we ask to hear about people’s stories. We want to hear how they met someone and then and then later decided to marry them. These stories tell us a lot about the couples we know.
When I first met the man I married, I did not like him. He had a personality that at first did not click with me, but it ended up being the best thing for me and my personality. We were a great match! At the time, if you had told me I would end up loving him and would eventually marry him, I would have said you were crazy. This is how I know I “fell” in love with him. It was completely unexpected, and yet so amazing.
As far as the term, “love at first sight,” I have different thoughts on that. I am not so sure anyone could really and truly love someone the second you lay eyes on them. Could you like them? Could you decide that you will marry them one day? Sure, but I do not believe in that moment that means you love them. I think part of what people mean when they say this, is that they are infatuated with or lusting after that person. Can infatuation eventually lead to love? In many cases, absolutely!
I believe love comes softly and slowly. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It is a choice, because after you get to know someone, you start to realize they are not perfect. They make mistakes, have bad habits, or do annoying things. It’s when you make the choice to continue loving them despite their mistakes and bad habits, that is the deciding factor of how true and pure it is.
When you get married, life won’t always be perfect. There will be many hard times and many ups and downs, but when you make the choice to love your spouse no matter what you may go through, that is how you know it’s true. It is a choice you make for the rest of your life and it is a beautiful thing.
So my advice to those who aren’t married yet? Don’t worry about how it will happen or when it will happen. You will find the right person, and it may even be when you least expect it. Just keep on being YOU and remember you are loved no matter what!
What about you? What are your thoughts and beliefs on this topic? What is your story? Share it with us in the comments below!
* Please know that I am not talking about cases of abuse in any form here. If you are in an abusive relationship, don’t stay. Get out and get help today!