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I love the random life lessons I’ve learned while being an adult. Some are valuable like, always remember to renew your military ID on time. Some are less valuable like, popcorn is too filling a snack to eat before dinner. But no matter the lesson, there is usually someone who can benefit from that! My most recent lesson? How to lose the frump and not be a frumpy wife.
Really, at 30 years old, having run the Tough Mudder and working out all the time, it’s not a lesson I thought I’d have to consider, but staying home in your PJ’s all day is really only acceptable if you are a 21-year-old college student still living at home. At some point, though I’m not entirely sure how I became a grown up and it’s generally frowned upon to go grocery shopping your slippers. Also, it’s still frowned upon even if they have a rubber sole, once you’re over the age of 23.
So, here are 5 steps to lead a less frumpy life, without sacrificing the comfort!
How to Lose the Frump
1. Change Out of Those Pajamas!
Do not spend all day in your PJ’s, even if you shower and then put them back on. PJ’s should not be worn past noon. The UPS delivery guy is not going to be the only person who judges you and your spouse will appreciate it. This rule is null and void if you are sick or got no sleep the night before.
2. Shower Regularly.
This seems silly, but it’s very easy for people to put off showering if they stay in their PJ’s every day. If you’re like me, it’s hard on your skin to shower each day, even with lotion. The maximum I can shower is every other day, but I still have to do it, and so do you. If I see one more frumpy military spouse who has obviously put this off whining about not feeling attractive, I might snap and slap her. But this rule applies to husbands too. You may think your stink is nice, but we only like it when you’ve been in the field for a week and really, we still don’t like it, we just missed you!
3. Look Presentable.
You don’t have to wear makeup every day, but at least try to make yourself look presentable. Brush your hair, even if you just put it in a ponytail, make sure you don’t have lunch stuck in your teeth and chew gum if you had onions for lunch. Your spouse will thank you.
4. Unwrinkle Those Clothes!
Toss that shirt into the dryer for a few minutes! I get it, I don’t always have time to fold laundry right away either, but that’s no excuse to wear wrinkled clothes. They might BE clean, but they don’t LOOK clean. This rule also applies to pet hair and drool (whether baby or pet), I don’t care if you like to re-wear your jeans twice before washing, but no gunk please.
5. Make an Effort.
Make an effort to look truly nice at least once a week. Not jeans and t-shirt, you’re-lucky-I-got-dressed-at-all nice, but I showered, blow dried my hair and put on mascara nice. It may seem silly, but you will be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself on those days. Frumpy is not just a look, but a feeling too and part of losing the frump is to help yourself feel better. On these days, I like to reward myself with a bowl of ice cream too! Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
It may seem silly, but it’s really easy to slip into these habits. I’m home a lot because of my work schedule and it means that I spend a lot of time alone, not worrying about impressing anyone. Before long, I’ve been in some form of PJ’s or sweats all week and have made no effort to look nice at all. And once you start to do it, it becomes easier to justify. “I’m cleaning today,” “I’m doing laundry today,” “I’m just popping into the market super fast…” And the next thing you know, Frumpville.
I find that just putting on adult clothes every day does wonders for my mood and my productivity, even if it’s just jeans and a T-shirt.
What about YOU? Do you agree with these tips? How do you avoid becoming frumpy?
“A Girl” is a 20 something blogger who began blogging in 2008 as a means of coping with a deployment. She is a Veterinary Technician by trade and loves her work in Emergency and Critical Care. She is married to a USMC reservist with 10 years of service, whom she met shortly after he returned from a deployment. They have been married for four years, have three, very bratty dogs, and are currently trying to muddle through the aftermath of a difficult deployment for both.
You can view her ramblings about reserve life and life in general at A Boy, A Girl and the Marine Corps: A love triangle.