When Words Crush

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When Words Crush
Photo by: facebook.com/KaylasSimplePhotography

Have you ever experienced words said to you that just crushed you from the inside out? Maybe it was said by a family member or maybe a friend. For me, it was from someone I thought was a friend. When you hear words that are so disheartening, so mean, and so hurtful, it can be hard to forget about them and move on.

There are times where I still can hear the words said to me. They sometimes play over and over in my head and it’s then that I realize that I while I may not be able to forget the things that were said to me, I have to stop dwelling on them and remember that I am loved by God and am valuable to Him no matter what!

So what can we do to move past words that crush? Here are a few ideas!

1. Pray for the person who said the hurtful words to you.
It can be very very hard to pray for someone who has hurt you badly. But giving up that bitterness and finally saying a prayer for them is the key to moving past that hurt. It took me a long time to want to pray for the person who hurt me. I didn’t feel like they deserved it. But God worked in my heart and now if their words come to mind or if I see them, then I try to pray for them before their hurtful words come to mind or before I think hurtful things about them.

2. Realize that you can forgive that person, but that doesn’t mean you still have to have a relationship with them.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to let that person keep hurting you. It doesn’t mean you are being hateful or unforgiving if you decide to step back from a hurtful relationship. It’s actually good because it means you realize that having that person in your life is not healthy and that it is not a healthy relationship.

3. Don’t dwell on what was said, dwell on what God’s Word says instead.
It’s easy for hurtful and crushing words to play over and over in our heads. Especially as women, since we can be emotional at times. At times I have to physically stop myself from dwelling or thinking about these words said to me in the past. I have to remember that these words are not true words, that God’s Word tells me otherwise. At times like these, it’s a great idea to take out God’s Word and read about His promises to us. He does not view us in the way that other people may, He loves us no matter what. Dwell less on the hurtful words of others and more on the Words God says!

How about YOU? What do you do to get past words that crush?

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  1. My mama’s advice would have been “Kill ’em with kindness”. I suppose finding a way to serve the offender will help heal your heart.

  2. I can’t believe someone like you would receive any crushing words! Although in a way I can, since I know it happens all the time. Something I’ve done to help deal with hurts is to think about what would make a person say or do what they did. I don’t always figure out why, but thinking about it often helps me to realize that they DO need to be prayed for, because what they do or say usually (I would even say always) is because of a hurt they are feeling.

  3. I had this happen not too long ago, and the rift and cycle of offenses continues for almost two years with this person. It kept us up nights, drove us sick to the bathroom, and nearly destroyed marriages as it spilled over into the relationships between our husbands. Finally, we sat down with a respected, older, Christian couple separately first, and then talked the whole thing out together. It wasn’t easy, and it was brutally honest, but it worked. The offenses were really forgiven, and words of hope and reconciliation replaced the ugly, hurtful ones. Our relationship is completely different, but it’s better. It’s been rebuilt on honesty. Forgiveness is both a choice and a supernatural release that happens with the help of the Holy Spirit. God can heal and restore all things, and reconciliation is His specialty.

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