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I used to be jealous when I watched other young couples. They always seemed so happy, so perfect. The funny thing is that I was one of those married couples. I was happy in my marriage and I still am.
Why the jealousy you ask? I think it’s because I knew my marriage could be better, it wasn’t at it’s best. We are young, happy, but still have had a lot to learn over the 3 and a half years we’ve been married. And we are still learning every day.
I would say that even though we love each other we have each had moments of extreme selfishness. We have had moments of fighting, moments where we were unhappy with each other and maybe even annoyed. I used to be afraid of those moments. What did it mean? Was our marriage failing? I knew in my heart it wasn’t. I was still happy and in love, but I was scared. My fear comes from my parent’s divorce. I have struggled with it for years and bringing that baggage into my own marriage has brought intense fear that the same may happen to us.
Through counseling I have learned to deal with these fears and to see them for what they were: just fears that weren’t real. I have learned that your marriage is as good as you make it. Letting these fears control my marriage didn’t help. God is in control of our marriage He doesn’t want us to fail, but so are we. We are the ones that make the decisions and choices we do every day. We have the power to make decisions that are going to help our marriage or hurt our marriage. We can make our marriage the best we can, or we can bring it down with our thoughts, attitudes and actions.
As I read over a this blog post: Being Extraordinary in Marriage by The Momma Bird, I realized that that’s exactly how I have felt as of late. I respect my husband so much. I see him for who he is, all pretenses aside, and I love him all the same. He is there for me, and he helps me on a day to day basis as best he can. And when I look and see all that we have been through in the past 3 years and see how our love is grown. I am thankful. Thankful that through it all I have the power to make my marriage the best it can be.