Pre-Deployment Thoughts & Stress
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The past few weeks have been rough. Deployment is closing in and with it all the things that have to be done before and all the things happening after are overwhelming me. It’s starting to hit hard that this is really happening and I need to get myself in gear.
As time is ticking away, time together has been sparse. It seems that for the past month one of us has always been sick. There were colds all around, and my husband got pretty sick from his pre-deployment shots, and then I had the stomach flu twice. On top of all that, my husband is doing an online class for his degree so a lot of his time at home is being taken up with that. I am so proud that he is working so hard on it, but I wish it didn’t have to be right before he leaves. Any time together is precious, and we are learning to make the most of it.
My during-deployment plans are coming together. There is a lot going on and I am glad for that, but I am also overwhelmed with all that I know is coming up. Adam will be going to weekly therapy sessions (that’s a post for another day) and I am not looking forward to dealing with all that comes with that by myself. I know it’s going to be a lot of pressure and and a lot of work.
I also made some decisions about staying with and visiting family. I did a post about that awhile back, and I have had several people ask what decision I made. My sister-in-law is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. I am going to be staying about a month in West Virginia with my in-law’s to help with the wedding. Before that, my mom will be coming for a weekend to spend Thanksgiving with us. In February or March I am hoping one of my friends from Florida might come up to stay and visit. Then we will both drive back down to Florida and Adam and I will stay with my mom for about a week. Lots of decisions, lots of travel, lots to think about!
This is most of what has been on my mind lately. On top of everything the finance department messed up and we only got half a paycheck. We will get it back… in two weeks. Needless to say it’s been a struggle not to be discouraged. So what do I do and how can YOU handle pre-deployment stress? Here are a few things that have helped me:
I will be honest there are times that I just don’t feel like praying. I feel stressed, overwhelmed and certainly not in the mood to pray. But why wait? Isn’t that a good time to bring it all to God? I think so!
2. Don’t let it build up
This is one I am learning, learning, learning! Letting your feelings and emotions build up inside of you just makes things worse because at one time or another all those thoughts and feelings are going to have to come out, and it’s probably not going to be pretty. Which leads us to number 3, before those feelings build up, talk to someone about them!
3. Talk to Someone
I know that in the military community it is a known thing not to put a lot on your husband before or during a deployment. They have to focus on the mission. BUT I believe that is not always right. Keeping everything in is not good, and talking things over with your husband is good stress reliever for both of you. You can also talk to a pastor or counselor if you are having trouble handling things. Sometimes just having someone to vent to, bounce ideas off of, or pray for you is just what you need to feel better.
What do you do or what have you done in the past to deal with pre-deploment stress or any stress at all?
oh girl, i am praying for you guys…we will probably be facing another deployment in a year or 2 and i am scared to death w/ having a little guy who has medical issues. i thank the Lord that Paul is here now so i don't go insane. if i read right, Adam is going to therapy? Stephen is in it everyday of course, w/ physical, speech, and occupational therapy. i don't know what type of therapy Adam will recieve, but if you have ANY questions at all, please don't hesitate to ask. its a normal part of our life now. and i promise i won't shove any mommy advice down your throat 🙂 i will keep praying for your sweet family, but especially you!
I cried a lot while M was at work or I was in the shower. For me, crying is always my go-to emotion. I have no clue why. I prayed a lot and blogged. The online military spouse community was great for me. I moved back home, which I don't regret but it won't happen again because it was so stressful for me. Don't forget that even though you are being a single parent for a bit to take time for yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Pre is the hardest. Then once they leave it's like a weight is lifted (only to have a few more hop in it's place!). I hope you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and find peace and rest.
I feel like I could have written this entire post two weeks ago! My husband just left for his first deployment and between illnesses, an important interview the DAY before he left, and all of the other things that need to be done pre-deployment, we barely had time to spend with each other either. I don't want to turn this into my own pity party, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Praying is such a great way to work through this time. I actually just started reading the book "The Praying Wife" (military version) and I would definitely recommend it to you if you haven't already read it. It's a very easy and straight forward read and it's helping me to pass the time in the evenings after my little one is in bed. Take care and I'll be thinking of you! <3
I really think that waiting for it to start is the worst. It’s awkward– wanting to spend EVERY moment together, but then not really knowing what to do, what to say. I was pregnant when my husband went off for 9 months of training– what I thought was just morning sickness really was just nerves. The day he left, never got sick again. Praying for you. I hope the deployment goes by fast, that he remains safe, and all is well! 🙂
You said it exactly! I can totally relate to what you just said. I have been seeing a counselor lately just to help with the anxiety. I am so glad we are almost about to start it so we can be done! Thanks for the prayers i appreciate it! 🙂
I just stumbled upon your blog and I am so excited! My husband is being deployed this fall for the third time, so you would think I would be a pro. But I find I’m stressed and feeling guily that I am stressed because I’ve been through it before. He is National Guard (an Apache Pilot) so his deployments are pretty darn long. (18 months last time and a year this time) I have 5 children, the oldest of which will be graduating while he is gone and leaving on a mission for our church. I am so happy to find a place where I can get some pick me up ideas!! Thank you!
I am so glad you found my blog! Please do not feel guilty at all. EVERY deployment is hard it doesn’t matter how long how short and how many times you’ve done it. They are all hard, and all sacrifices. I will keep you in my prayers during this time. Thanks again for commenting and stopping by!