Yes, I Schedule my Baby
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I wanted to take the time to write a little about my day with Adam, how we do our schedule, and why it is so convenient. I know a lot of people think putting a baby on a schedule is a bad thing, but our schedule is very flexible and it is not perfect or set in stone. A Schedule can be changed around, and made to fit your day. So I wanted to explain why we like scheduling, put away any myths you may have heard about scheduling, and answer any questions you may have about it.
A lot of people think that a schedule equals no flexibility. But that actually is quite the opposite! Adam is such a great baby that I can change his schedule around to fit whatever my day may hold, such as appointments, dates with friends, errands, or buying groceries. Here is how our schedule goes.
- 7:00 am: Wake up and Breakfast. I let Adam wake up on his own. Usually he wakes up around 6:30-7:00 occasionally he will sleep in until 7:30. If he does get up at 7:30 then I do all the same things, just get back to my regular scheduled times at the next feeding time. He takes some cheerios, baby food, and a bottle and then it’s just whatever. He usually will play in the playpen, watch some Veggie Tales, and run around the house in his walker.
- 9:00 am: Nap Time. A few minutes before nine we may go up and read some stories, and then I change his diaper and put him down. I let him sleep for an hour and half. Sometimes he wakes up before that. If he does I wait to see if he goes back to sleep, if not then I go get him. If he only slept an hour then later we make up for that by giving him a two hour nap. (He needs 3 hours total of nap time a day. I am sure this will change, but this is how it has been for awhile now.) That is usually my time to shower and get ready for the day, but sometimes I will take a nap with him, or go on my computer.
- 10:30 am: End of Nap.
- 11:00 am: Lunch Time. I usually will give him some baby puff snacks, baby food, and a bottle. After that it’s just playtime, and whatever else I have to do. I usually take this time to eat lunch, do some housework, run errands, and anything else that needs to be done.
- 1:30 pm: Nap Time. This is his usual nap time unless he didn’t sleep enough for his first nap, and if that is the case he will go down at 1:00 instead.
- 3:00 p.m: End of Nap and Dinner Time. This is his dinner time. I know it is early but we have it so there are a set amount of hours between each of his feedings. Later I will slowly change the times until his dinner is at the same time as ours. Probably when he starts eating more regular foods.
- 6:30 p.m Get ready for Bed and Last Bottle. At 6:30 we will start getting him ready for bed, put his pj’s on and all that good stuff. Then we give him his last bottle which gets him through the night.
- 7:00p.m Bedtime. Then it’s bed time for the little guy and let me tell you, by that time he is tired and ready to sleep! Usually very little to no crying before he falls asleep.
When did we start him on a schedule?
I originally decided to use this method when I read Baby Wise. But this does not mean I followed every thing in this book to a tee. I took what I wanted out of it and made the schedule our own. I started when he was around 8 weeks old, but it takes time. I say that it probably took at least a month or two to get everything straight and get him used to it. Of course his schedule back then, was way different then it is now. As he grows ans changes his schedule did as well. It is better to start your baby on a schedule when they are younger. The younger they are, the better they adapt to it. It would be very hard if we decided to use one starting now. Adam is 8 months and would not be used to it at all, and starting one now without doing it earlier would probably only confuse him.
Why did you decide to schedule?
I used to babysit for a wonderful family of five kids. I really respected my friend and saw how she parented her children. I saw how well-behaved they were, how they were raised to love God, and how her babies loved taking naps, and even though I knew no family is perfect, I wanted to raise my family like that! They were a family I looked up to in this area. So I asked her, and she told me about the Baby Wise book. I read it and I saw how she had applied it to her family and how well it worked for them. (I am not saying that if you do not use this method you do not have a good or godly Christian family. Anyone can have those things if they want to. I just liked the way they raised their family and wanted to find out more about it) I decided that I would try it. At first it was hard. But then I began to see the fruits of my efforts and realized I loved it! I also knew a lot of other Christian families who used some of these methods, and knew it was well respected in some Christian circles. After reading the book through,I talked to my husband and we made OUR OWN decision to use this. Not because anyone told us to, not because we wanted to copy anyone, but because we realized it was a good method.
How does your schedule fit in when you are out and about?
The schedule doesn’t interfere with what we want or need to do. If I need to go out or want to run some errands then I go. If things get done at a different time that day then I adjust the rest of his schedule to fit. For example today we needed to run some errands. His nap time is at 1:30, but we were at Target. So when we got home around 3:00 I fed Adam and put him down for his nap at 3:30. Then when he wakes up the rest of the schedule is back on track and he goes to bed at 7:00 like normal. If we are out at someone’s house or at church past his bedtime, then he stays up until we get home, or we bring the pack-n-play with us and he sleeps at our friend’s house. I love it because I can plan ahead. If I am going out I can plan for how many bottles and how much food to bring with me because I know exactly when he will eat. When I make plans with friends I know when he naps so I can plan around that. For me it works perfectly because I know everything ahead of time. It helps me plan ahead, and helps me know what my day will entail.
Myths about scheduling:
It doesn’t allow freedom or for the baby to be his own person.
I totally disagree. Adam definitely has his own personality! He is a happy and fun-loving baby with a mind of his own. I am not crushing his freedoms (Whatever freedoms a baby really has, I mean they are babies!), he is allowed to play and do his own thing. The only things we schedule are feedings and sleep. Playtime is whatever goes!
Babies have a hard time being flexible when they are scheduled.Â
This is not necessarily true. I hear that if you schedule your baby’s sleep time then they will have a hard time sleeping anywhere else. When Adam was smaller, he would fall asleep in the car, in the nursery, whatever. And if he did, then I just changed his schedule and nap times to fit that. Now, he does not fall asleep as much because he knows when his nap times are but if we are out and about during his nap time then sometimes he will still fall asleep. He does not have a hard time just because he is not at home. If he is tired he is tired, and he will fall asleep.
You won’t understand your baby’s non-verbal cues.
I don’t believe this to be true either. I feel because I know when exactly he will eat and sleep I can pin point what is wrong or what he wants. If he is upset, and it’s not time to eat or sleep. I still have a good time at figuring out what is wrong. I am his mother and I know what my baby needs and wants and scheduling does not interfere with that.
I hope you have enjoyed reading a little about baby scheduling and what I do. I get asked a lot of questions sometimes, I thought this would be a great way to explain a little of what I do, and put those myths to rest. If you are interested in learning more about baby scheduling here are a few articles:
Should You Put Your Baby on a Schedule?
Get You Baby Sleeping Through the Night
Are you ever worries that when you schedule and lets say for example how you were out at target until 3 that he will throw a fit and be hard to handle? I know several ladies when they break their kids routines, the child acts as though the world is ending. I definitely had the myth that you couldn't deviate from a schedule, but it could be you have a flexible baby đ Just curious!
I will reply here and through email so everyone can read my response here.
I think those are more for the moms who are more of a stickler and don't let their schedule be flexible at all. Adam is used to his being flexible I think, and he is fine. He may be a little bit more cranky sometimes, but we have never had a huge problem.
When we go to church Sunday mornings, he misses his usual 9:00 am nap. He is fine, stays and plays in nursery and then sleeps in the car ride home for a few minutes and then the rest of the afternoon to make up for his morning nap and his afternoon nap.
Like I said we personally have never had a problem with it! đ
Great post! It's nice to hear of someone who HAS a schedule, but isn't strictly so. Those myths you mentioned do happen, but I find it's only for those who schedule their babies strictly according to what 'the book' says, or by what they believe should happen and when.
For those like you and me, it's about routine, not what the clock says! We know that after a couple of hours of awake time, they're ready for a nap, and if that awake time is extended, so is their nap!
I know that I've found Jonathan to be such a better sleeper and more happier when awake now that he has a mostly-regular routine.
Oh, non-verbal cues?! I can tell when he's tired, don't worry about that! When the tantrums and crankiness is turned on at the slightest hint of "No", it's time to settle down for a nap!
I think babywise is amazing and i think it is a great idea
Loved this post! However I normally hear the opposite, that by not putting my daughter on a schedule that she will be unruly/hard to handle/ etc. Like you we keep our "schedule" very flexible. I use the term schedule very loosely, because we have more of a routine. We don't necessarily do one certain thing at that exact time, but one activity almost always follows the same thing every day.
For example, no matter what time she wakes up, she has a bottle, plays for 10-15 minutes, and then has some fruit. Then around two and half hours after she wakes up it's morning nap time. So we're not a stickler for time, just an easy to follow day that works for us. To be honest, I tried a set schedule, but man we just could not get it down!
I think you are SO right. By keeping kids on a schedule at a young age, you are teaching them balance and routine, and kids need that so much. Having a flexible schedule also helps kids to learns early that life happens and sometimes things do not always go according to plan, but thats ok too….good post!
Great post! Your schedule with Adam sounds very similar to Maddy's when she was that age. Like the previous people said, it's a "flexible schedule" or more like a "routine". There isn't anything wrong with that. It helps parents plan for the day and helps babies know what's coming next!
I think a schedule is good for little ones. They seem to sleep better when their bodies are used to a routine.
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What a very informative post! I don't have kids yet but I will think about reading this book for when I do. I've heard that babies really love schedules, so it totally makes sense. It's just us crazy adults who push ourselves too far… maybe if we all held ourselves to bedtime we wouldn't be cranky in the morning either. đ
Great post! đ
My first child sort of put herself on a schedule when she was 2 months old and we went from there. It worked really well and she was really happy, so I stuck with it.
When my second child was born 11 months later, he was on a schedule right away. It was definitely a necessity though and it was pretty flexible. He got used to it pretty quickly though and it really helped so much. Although I will say he sort of dictated the schedule at first. I think that I was fortunate that he would sleep at night (in 2-3 hour spurts between feedings) and would have his alert awake times during the day when he wanted to play. I know there are some babies who are born on the opposite schedule and I don't know what to do about that . . .
I think having a schedule gives kids security (and I know there is research out there to back that up). My kids know what to expect and approximately when. There isn't much guess work for them in their day (when is my next meal going to be??). Like you, it makes it very easy to plan ahead when going out. My only hard, fast rule is that we don't leave the house or schedule appointments (if it can be helped) in the afternoon (between 1230 and 1530). Nap time is sacred. That's really more for my sanity though than for them . . . a missed nap makes for a cranky infant and toddler and Mommy just can't handle that sometimes! đ
Kathryn,
I have started reading this book and plan on starting when is 2 months old. What challenges did you face in the beginning and what did you do to overcome them?? I love the schedule and I hope that Ethan will take to it as well as Adam did.
Love your post!
I have had my 3 children on schedule and it has been a life-saver! My mom, who had6 chiclren, always says that it's a delight to watch over my children because she always know what they are supposed to do and they are just happy about it.
I am convince that babies on schedules are more happy and peaceful.
My three children are different from each other, naturally, but the schdule has never affected their personality In fact, it brings out the best out of them!
I LOVE babywise!!
Kathryn, I feel like I could have written this post myself!
We have a 7 1/2 month old baby boy (our first!) and we had a family that we greatly admire tell us about the book Baby Wise. We read it, took what we liked and what made sense for us out of it, and implemented it with our son. He responded very well to it and is the happiest little baby. It *can* be hard at first, but it is definitely worth it. Every point that you made, I agree with 100%. A flexible schedule has worked out *very* well for us!
(Also, I thought this was kind of interesting – our babies schedules are practically identical at the moment, except for ours is an hour later – he gets up and goes to bed around 8:00 instead of 7:00. Kind of funny, huh?!)
This "flexible schedule/routine" is what we do as well and it seems to work wonderfully. It may. Not work with all kids but it definitely works with mine. Beyond raising your children to love the Lord, there is no right or wrong way to parent.
Oh it's so nice to hear from somebody else who has made a flexible schedule work for them & their family! We also have a family we greatly admire who have wonderfully behaved children because of how they've implemented their schedule. I am trying to get my five month old back on a schedule after being off one for a few months. I definitely miss our routine! I'm so much more tired the way things are now, can't wait to get things back on track again.