When all the Wives have Kids
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I was recently reading an article in Military Spouse Magazine and it really caught my eye, because it is exactly how I feel! I thought I would post it, because you never know who else may feel this way. Even if you aren’t a military wife!
“I’ve always known I wanted to be a mother. Most little girls play with dolls, but as I played with mine, I knew that part of my life’s calling would be to have real ones. I planned to grow up, meet a man, and have babies. Well, I’ve met that man and, since you, the reader, are also a military spouse, I am going to assume that you’ve already met your prince charming as well. I use the words ‘prince’ and ‘charming’ loosely. But I’m finding that I’m not as ready for the next step as all the women around me.
If you are young and newly married and are trying to find where you belong at a new military base, trying to get along with this hairy, smelly creature now in your life every day and surrounded by women with children, then please read on. I have found that more and more women I meet around base are already mothers. Some of them are either my age or just a couple years older with not just one, but two or three chicks already residing in the hen house.
Being in a new place and desperately yearning for some female bonding time, a part of me aches inside when these new women I’ve met have other obligations keeping them from a cup of coffee or just hanging out with me. If you find yourself in this situation, here’s a tip: Everything happens for a reason. Now is the time to bond with your spouse, not other women, and to grow that closeness that will keep your relationship solid until you are ready to put some chicks in your hen house. Try him. You may be surprised at how much he is willing to do with you.”
Sometimes, I feel exactly like this! I see everyone around me having babies and it makes me want one so bad. Taking time now with my husband before I do get pregnant is important. I think it can set the foundation for the rest of the marriage, if we have a chance to be with each other more and do not have the responsibility of a child in our life at this time. Granted, if I get pregnant I will be as happy as bluebird singing on a sunny day, but until then, I am going to try to savor the time I have with my husband. Especially since he is not deployed right now, and we don’t know when that will be.
Any thoughts on this? Were you anxious to be pregnant or are you anxious now?
You are so wise to savor your time with your husband before you have kids, because once you have them, you'll never get this stage of life back. When I was a new Coast Guard wife in Homer, Alaska, I was pretty bored and lonely without him and I thought maybe I should just have a baby to make life more interesting. Ha! I'm glad I didn't do that then- what a terrible reason to start having kids- because you're bored and everyone else has kids! I learned to really get involved in the community instead, and my husband and I were able to backpack around Europe for a month (thanks to Space-A) after we'd been married more than a year. We now have two precious children, ages 3 and 9 months, and I love them to death, but I am so glad for all the time my husband and I spent together before they entered the scene.
I am a big advocate of enjoying time with your spouse before kids enter the picture. Besides, you want to make sure you have a good, strong foundation on your marriage before you add children. My husband and I were married 4 years before we had our son.
As for you being the only one with kids…I enjoy hanging out with friends that don't have kids. They are more accessible and we don't have to worry about finding two babysitters if we want to hang out! 🙂
So I checked out your blog when I registered for the giveaway, but I've now spent a little more time investigating.
I do feel this way all the time. Being two years into my marriage my husband and I are TTC. It always makes me ache when I see others with such young little bundles of joy. But I still have my moments when I feel as though this might not be the right time because I enjoy just having Curtis all to myself and no interruptions.
So what I've done is just put it in the Lord's hands and said when it happens it will be the right time, because it will be in His time. I'm not even going to worry about not getting pregnant anymore, because I still wouldn't give up this time with Curtis.