Dear Valuable Girl: A Message About Friendship

One of the first things I read this morning was from a link that a friend posted on Facebook. I read it and re-read it several times, letting it’s power, but simple words sink in. This is what I read…

Dear Valuable Girl,

You have the right to choose the kind of friends who get to be close in your life. It is an honor to be in your inner circle. You have the right to be treated with kindness, respect, love and support. You have the right to feel safe in your relationships, free from harsh judgment and free from manipulative communication.

Please do not allow yourself, amazing girl, to be abused by anyone that you have the choice and power to free yourself from. No one has the right to point out your weaknesses, to abuse your weaknesses, to make you feel small or to continuously bring up a past that you are growing out of. No one has the right to manipulate you, to cruelly make fun of you or to cross your personal boundaries. No one.

You are worth what it takes to set boundaries with others. You are worth protecting. Just like you would never allow someone you love to be treated disrespectfully or with cruelty…please do not allow yourself to be treated in ways that minimize and devastate the incredible human being that you are.

Spend time with others who remind you of your potential, who help you to live your dreams and your values, who silently help you with your weaknesses and who lift you when you are down. None of us need any help aside from the help of our creator, knowing where we are weak. None of us need our mistakes and frailties constantly pointed out to us by someone who has no business pointing them out…we are well aware of them and work daily to overcome them. Choose to be with those who show you where you are strong. Friendship should not hurt.

Protect your beautiful soul, dear one….it is so precious and important.

Never let anyone blow out your beautiful light. You are LOVED.

xoxo – CREDIT

I have experienced many friendships that have hurt. I have sat wondering and pondering over what I have done. I have questioned myself over and over. BUT I am learning that what this letter says is true. I have a right to these truths and so do YOU.

1. “You have the right to choose the kind of friends who get to be close in your life.”
I have learned there are several different types of friends. There are the ones that let you get close, that are able to tell you anything, and that are totally real and honest about their strengths and weaknesses. And then there are others who are won’t let you get close, they are there, but yet they push you away. They don’t want the closeness that true friendship has because they are afraid.

I have never understood it before, why some choose let to me in, but others can’t. But I am learning that it’s ok. That the people who don’t want to be let in aren’t the types of friends I need. The people who aren’t real about who they are and who they want to be don’t deserve to be in my life or to be close to me. I have the right to choose. It’s so powerful, yet so hard to realize.

2. “No one has the right to point out your weaknesses, to abuse your weaknesses, to make you feel small or to continuously bring up a past that you are growing out of.”
No one has these rights. NO ONE. I have been with friends who have done this. And it broke me up inside until finally I had to put a stop to it. I had to realize this “friendship” was not healthy. I have had friends who have made fun of me, and made me feel small. I thought I was just sensitive, but instead I have realized that was that person’s way of helping them feel better about themselves. You don’t have to stand for that. You deserve so much better.

Your past and your weaknesses are between you and God. A real friend will fight FOR you. A real friend will fight WITH you and pray for you. Don’t let your weaknesses bring you down so much that it’s hard to see how valuable you truly are. I have been there, and it’s not a good place to be.

3. “You are worth what it takes to set boundaries with others. You are worth protecting.”
Guilt set in when I set boundaries with a particular “friend.” I had realized that she had been hurting me too long and that this “friendship” was not healthy. I told her I I did not hate her, that I forgave her, but we could not be friends anymore. I wondered for a long time if I did the right thing. What if I was wrong? But I realized that this was the best thing I could have done. It helped me grow.

I realized that I am worth protecting. My family is worth protecting. I would not allow anyone to hurt my family and I don’t have sit and take people hurting me either. I am better than that.

4. “None of us need any help aside from the help of our Creator, knowing where we are weak. None of us need our mistakes and frailties constantly pointed out to us by someone who has no business pointing them out…we are well aware of them and work daily to overcome them. Choose to be with those who show you where you are strong.”
Our weaknesses and the things we are working on are between God and us. We don’t have to let anyone tell us what we are doing wrong. We have to seek God’s help and guidance and let Him show us when we are wrong and let Him convict us. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and who will encourage you. Don’t be around those who cause drama or who gossip. Those who do will certainly gossip about you if they do it about someone else. We all deserve so much better than that.

Ladies, True friendships are rare. When you have one, hold onto it tight and protect it with everything you have. Fight for it. How do we find a friendship like this? Pray. And Pray hard for God to show you the right friends. The people your surround yourself with are the people you will become. So pray hard.