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Do you ever wonder what God has called you to do with your life? I am in one of those places, where I feel like I am just no sure what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Yes, I am a wife and a mom, but at times I feel like I am missing something, like I should be doing something more. I feel like a little child who has been asked, “What to you want to be when you grow up?” But I have so many ideas in my head, that I cannot choose, or maybe I am just not sure which to choose.
When I was a little girl all I wanted to be when I grew up was a teacher. I loved school, and when I was at home I would play “school’ with my siblings and my friends. And yes, you guess it, I was the teacher! When I finally grew up and went to college I went for an Elementary Education degree, because I still had that dream of being a teacher and working with little kids. Sadly, my dream came unraveled when I found out I was “too shy” to be a teacher. Yes, I could teach little kids in Sunday School or in a class room setting, but to make a lesson plan and get up in front up my college class to practice? Not at all! I was getting bad grades on every peer teaching I did in front of my college classes. Not matter how much I prepared or how much I practiced the second I got up there I forgot everything I ever did or read. I stumbled through every lesson until I realized that maybe being a teacher was just not going to work. I talked to my teacher, and she told me if my peer teaching grades did not improve I was going to have to switch to another major.
I decided right then and that teaching was not for me. I ended up going home to finish my degree online and got an Associate’s in General Studies. But it did not end there. While I was at college I has minored in several different things. After taking several amazing literature classes with a wonderful teaching, I thought more about minoring in English. I talked to this teacher and she really encouraged me in it. She made me feel better about taking the dreaded “Advanced Grammar & Composition” class, and I actually passed it! After that, even though I did not go back, I still had a huge interest for English and writing. It has never left me since, and after that I decided that after i got married even though we could not afford to have me go back to school, I would at least start my own dreams and begin writing. And that is how I started this blog.
Those have been my main ideas and dreams for my life, but then I wanted to become a mother. I had always loved working with little kids, had worked in nursery since I was pretty young, helped in sunday school classes, been a nanny, and babysat hundreds of times. Now that I was married I wanted to have my own children. Soon after we got married the baby bug hit me and ten months and one miscarriage later I got my dream, I was pregnant.
Since then my life has changed, and yes my dreams have changed too. Do I want to have more kids? How many? Do I want to go back to school? If so, when? Do I want to pursue my dream of writing? How do I make the time? There are so many things running through my head at times, and I just don’t know which one I want to do or listen to. I am a mom now and that responsibility comes first. But what about the rest of my life? Can I still have a side career in writing while being a mom? Or should I drop all my dreams and have all the children I have wanted? What does God want for me, and what does he have for my life?
The other day I was reading in Ruth, and God really showed me some great things. I realized that right now what is important is being a wife and mother. Being a wife and a mother THAT is my calling. it comes first in my life and it is a ministry. This is what God has put in my life for a reason, this is what he has for me right now, and this is what I should be concentrating on. If I cannot even do my best in this calling to be a wife and a mom, how will I ever be able to do anything else that he has called me to do? How can I serve him thoroughly in every aspect of ministry if I cannot complete my job as a wife and a mother? I can’t.
I will leave you with this quote I found and saved awhile ago: “You can’t be the mother God called you to be, until you become the WIFE he called you to be.” How True. God has called us each to something great. It may be a teacher, writer, musician, lawyer, or anything else, but nothing can replace the greatness of being called to be a wife and a mom. THAT is a calling only you can answer!