Reasons to Enjoy a TDY

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In an attempt to be positive, I came up with several things that I am really going to enjoy doing while my husband is away. Even though separation is not something we look forward to, I think that it can be a time to find ourselves, learn to be strong, and in the end bring us closer together. “Distance does to love what wind does to fire… it extinguishes the weak and fuels the strong.

My Reasons to Enjoy this TDY:

1. I get to pick and watch all the Netflix movies I want.
We don’t have cable but we do have Netflix including instant plays. Since Jon is leaving I already moved up all the movies I want to watch in the next month. And let me tell you it is a long list of chick flicks! Included in the list are “First Daughter,” “My Fair Lady,” “Gone with the Wind,” “Save the Last Dance,” and “Rebbecca.” Can you tell I am excited?

2. I can buy and eat foods that like.
I am very excited about the grocery shopping experience while he is away, first because it will probably save us a lot of money just buying food for one and second because I get to buy all kinds of things that Jon wouldn’t normally eat! My husband can be a very picky eater at times, and there are lots of foods I don’t buy because I know he doesn’t like them. Well not anymore! A few on my list are yummy snacks, cheese, black olives, and lots of healthy stuff that Jon normally hates like spinach, zucchini, and kale. And that’s just a few on my list!

3. I get to sleep in the middle of the bed and hog the blankets!
I am one of the those people who is a very restless sleeper, and apparently I need a lot of room. I don’t get that in a Queen size bed shared with my husband. We often wake up in the night asking the other to move over. Now, I can sleep in the middle and have the entire bed to myself. Of course I do not really want to sleep alone, but this is a good thing about it since I don’t have a choice.

4. I get the car all to myself (and Adam of course).
Recently, we were knocked down to one car. My husband now takes the car to work every day and occasionally if I have a doctor’s appointment or something he will try to find a ride to work. Most of the time I am stuck at home, but no now. I have missed going out and running errands, and hanging with friends. I have already made plans with several people and I am looking forward to them!

5. I get t try and finish some goals I have set.
Since I have known about this TDY I have been setting some goals in my head of things I wanted to accomplish and get done while he was gone. One of these is to exercise and lose some more weight. I was doing really good and then I had a hard time getting motivated to do this again. I want to, but I just haven’t been putting the work into it. And now I will have time. I think it will also be a good stress reliever. I also want to get my house organized. I have already been through a few things I want to get rid of or sell, but there is a lot that just needs to be organized and cleaned out. I guess you can call it spring cleaning. I would love to surprise my husband by getting the house ready by the time he gets back. We’ll see how that goes… 

What about you? What are some things you do or look forward to when your husband is away? 

I know that to some people this might seem silly. A month is not a long time to some, but to me it is a lot. I have endured separations before, but this is my first doing it alone without family. I know this is only a test of what is to come later as deployments last much longer. I hope that this can help me become more prepared. Thank you to all the friends who have already been there for me and not made me feel stupid about being sad about this separation. I was really surprised by all the support.

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  1. Those are my exact reasons too, minus the car! 😀 I have a billion Netflix movies I want to watch, and I just borrowed 3 more DVDs from some friends. I've got a grocery list of foods I want to eat (and my bonus is that all my leftovers will last longer since Matt isn't there to eat it all, since he likes the healthy stuff that I prepare).

    Also, laundry is easier, and dishes don't pile up as fast.

    And no one drinks my chocolate milk!


    Staying positive, one day at a time. One minute at a time, however it happens.

  2. Eric used to be gone about once a month for a week or so. Now we are civilians again we wont get TDA trips or the hotel points! I used to go people watch at the mall, et coffee and hog the blankets. and watch the tv shows he makes fun of me for. <3

  3. My house being cleaning and STAYING clean! I get to organize and decorate the house the way I like, and his electronics, dirty socks, and Gatorade bottles dont take over the whole place. I can't stand clutter, and my husband defines clutter… So it was spectacular for him to be gone for that reason hahaha

    You get to work out and get yourself to a place you want to him to see you in… and he will come back seeing you as that instead of the whole dirty sweaty process of it!

  4. We call this "tara time" around our house! My husband is gone a few days every month and even more during the summer (he's in the Air Force). I have no problem entertaining myself…it stinks that he's gone and kinda feels like ya cut off a body part that balances me& he's my best friend but I know he doesn't have a choice so I use the time to learn something new…clean house w/ my music blaring to chris Tomlin…started my very 1st garden when he left unattended for a month 2 summers ago…take advantage of the tv actually being turned off and write or read a good book…the list could go on. I stay busy. I keep my mind busy b/c once I start thinking how much I miss all the things about him it's hard to keep it outta my head til he returns.
    being busy makes the times seem so much shorter than sitting around watching sad lifetime movies and giving me even more reasons to be sad.
    {tara} from Undeserving Grace

  5. I LOVE to go on roadtrips to visit my college friends when my soldier is away for anything longer than several days. Keeping myself busy is the best coping method for me. During the last deployment, I was so busy with friends, family, church, and work that my husband teased that I might not have time for him when he came home!! When I'm aware of a pending departure, I get myself prepared and excited for all that I have planned to do while he's away. Some women can't relate to that ("I could NEVER do that"…"You look forward to when he goes???" etc, etc) Well, yes!! The departures are expected and are going to happen, so I make the best of it!

  6. Talk!

    It sounds silly, but I think we talk more when he is TDY. With 4 kids, there isn't a lot of talk time for grown ups. Then after they are in bed, one of us is usually on the computer, the other reading a book. Or, I just pass out from chasing/schooling/cleaning up after/feeding 4 children. HA!

    So, when he calls at night, we actually have long conversations with eachother. After 15 years, there are times when I ask him when his next TDY is so that I can plan when we need to talk through things 😉

    Oh yeah, and the bed thing. I HOG the entire king size bed and it is delicious.

  7. What a great post girl! One of the most things that I look forward to is sleeping in and not having to cook at a certain time. Just kinda get to go through the day doing it however I feel like it. Most of all I get to become closer to God who wants me to lean on Him. I am here girl if you need anything. I know I am not right there but you are in my prayers!! Hugs

  8. My husband travels about 3-4 nights out of every week with his job, so it's something I've grown used to. I just like the freedom of being able to watch what I want in bed and being able to turn it off when I'd like. I do miss him, though, and am always ready to have him come home. I'm visiting from SITS! 🙂

  9. Great post! Nathan will be gone for two weeks the beginning of April and that sounds like alot of the stuff I will be looking forward to as well!!!

  10. I think no matter how long they are gone you have to look at some of the positives.

    For me it is watching whatever I want on tv and not having to watch his shows. And I get to focus more on me…not that I can't when he is home but when he's home I want to focus on us. I used to say not having to do his laundry but he's been gone for 6 months and I kinda miss his laundry.

  11. you're smart to find the positives in spite of the separation. it can be hard when you miss that person so much, but the little things help keep you going for the long stretches. i also dig the eating-whatever-i-want trend…it's tougher to figure out meals for a second person who eats very large portions! best of luck during this TDY! just hang tough 🙂

  12. Except for the car, this is my list as well! I also get to walk the dogs by myself (surprisingly, it's easier that way…) and only worry about MY schedule… not his too 🙂
    (Found you through the round up!!)

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