Interdependence

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Because I am going to be traveling and visiting with family over the next month I am going to have a few guest posts on the blog for your reading enjoyment. Today I have Kayla Lindsay and although she doesn’t have a blog she is a very talented writer! Today she is writing a very important post for military wives about not being afraid to ask for help during deployments. I hope you enjoy it!

My husband and I are doing a year-long devotional book called Devotions for a Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. We both have learned so much through this book, and it has been a tremendous blessing to us. Week twenty-three, the author spoke of a Vietnam vet and his now-wife. After being ambushed while on patrol in Vietnam, the vet lost his vision. His girlfriend stood by his side during his recovery, and they were married. The lesson to be learned in this devotion is that we are all interdependent with our spouse. When we said “I do,” we gave up the right to independence for interdependence. When I became a military spouse, I literally gave up my independence to become an Army dependent.

We military spouses fight so hard to not be labeled as a “dependent.” There is something about that term that just gives us all the shivers! We work so hard to be independent. We think we do not need anyone. We can run the house, take care of the kids, volunteer, work, and just wear ourselves out. When a problem arises, we freak out because we do not want to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, and there is no way we are going to appear weak. That would ruin the idea of the perfect military spouse. But guess what…the perfect military spouse does not exist. Nope, she does not. Perfection cannot even be found in you! We all make mistakes. We all get overwhelmed. WE ALL NEED HELP!

When we became military dependents, we joined an amazing community of fellow military dependents. Every military dependent is INTERDEPENDENT with every other military dependent. Interdependent can be defined as (according to dictionary.com) “mutually dependent.” Whoah! Mutually dependent?! Here we go again with that word…you know…that dirty nine letter word that we all hate…dependent. If we are all mutually military dependents, then can we not be interdependent? Since we are all in the same boat as every other military spouse, then does it not seem fair to be able to ask for help? It is hard to swallow your pride and admit that. We all need help. We all need someone to lean on. You are afraid of appearing weak? I have a little secret for you. You ready to hear it? It really is quite simple.

Weakness is not asking for help when needed.

We are interdependent. That is the way we were created. Swallow your pride. Ask for help. Embrace your interdependence. Be proud to call yourself a military dependent because that means you are a member of a fantastic community! When you feel all alone during the dark, dreary days of military life, we can lean on each other.

Kayla Estelle Lindsey is an Army National Guard wife. She and her husband, Kyle, reside in Northeast Ohio. They teach the children’s Sunday school class at their church and are involved in many other ministries. Kayla suffers from PTSD, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. She hopes that with these struggles God will use her life in many ways. She enjoys writing, cooking/baking, and watching movies with her Handsome. She is the CareBlast and Girls Night Out Coordinator at Wives of Faith. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter @armywife9092 (and maybe a blog someday too!). Contact her at kayla@wivesoffaith.org.