Can I Be Honest..?
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Can I be Honest..?
I have been in a rut lately. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but hopefully we are coming out of that. My last post, was well… just a place to vent out my frustrations. I know I am not the only one in need or the only one with problems, but sometimes it feels like I am.
Can I be Honest..?
Facebook can be so bad for me
sometimes most of the time. I let it get to me too much. I over-think the things I see, and make it much more complicated then it needs to be. I am jealous sometimes of the things people post about, and about the friendships made. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without Facebook and it’s drama. Definitely more simple that’s for sure.
Can I be Honest..?
Lately, I have been so discouraged with my efforts here in Georgia. I try so hard to help others, and to put myself out there, but it seems like no one cares, or appreciates it. Either that or someone just steals my ideas. I view everything I do as a ministry, and I care about those ministries a lot. I care about people a lot. Sometimes I think I am way ready to PCS and go to a new place. I like traveling anyways…
Can I be Honest..?
I am desperate for a vacation. Jon and I haven’t done anything since our honeymoon over two years ago. I am not looking for anything radical or life changing, just a simple day or two away, even locally. I feel like ever since I gave birth things have been so stressful. I had so many problems up to 4 months after I gave birth. Then we have had multiple car problems, and other things happen. And it just seems like nothing has been the same since then. I understand right now there is not room in our budget for it, and that’s ok. It will come… eventually. I just want to make time for us again. The occasional date night here and there is not cutting it.
Can I be Honest..?
It’s really hard being a mom because of other moms. They make it so hard to do what I want to do. There is always competition, always telling the others that they need to do it their way, always drama over whose way is better. None of that matters! All that matters is how I want to raise my child, and that I do it in a godly way. Seriously, so can we all just get along now?
Can I be Honest..?
I am so tired of hearing of everything natural. Natural this natural that…. please. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being natural or “crunchy” if that is what YOU want. But it’s not for me, and I am really done hearing about it. Yes, I know I am slowly killing myself, if I don’t try and use all the latest techniques, but that’s ok. I am ok with that. Really I am.
And now if I have any friends left after all this feel free to leave a comment! What can you be honest about today?
Get out of my head! I've been thinking the same! Except I was just thinking that hubs and I have been married for almost 5 years and we've never taken a vacation together! 🙁
Ok pity party over!
Hope things get better for the both of us real soon! *hug*
It's hard to understand the physical and emotional toil that comes right after having a child until you've been there and lived it. One good thing, you conquered those first four months!! As for the vacation, if you figure out something free let me know! I can count on one hand the times that my husband and I have been on a date (not joking). We've never had much money, even before we were married.
And even though others turn parenting into a competition don't let it affect it you. Adam is an awesome little guy, doing great! He's doing things at his own speed and pace, and you're doing what you believe is best for him and for yourself. "Keep your resources limited" is the best advice that I've ever received. You could look forever and continuously find information that will back up just about anything. You don't have to be natural. You don't have to be crunchy. The only thing that you can do is what's best for your family. BTW your tip on waiting to see if Penny would fall back asleep within 15 minutes has really helped us! We went from 30 minute naps to 1 – 2 hour long naps. Thanks!!
Be thankful for what you have, it could always be worse.
" I try so hard to help others, and to put myself out there, but it seems like no one cares, or appreciates it. Either that or someone just steals my ideas. I view everything I do as a ministry, and I care about those ministries a lot. I care about people a lot."
If that were true than you should not expect praise for the "help" you provide, it should be rewarding enough to know that you have done the best you can for others. Even if someone used your ideas, if it did good would it matter?
Everyone has opinions, no one says you have to listen to them or be forced to use any advice given simple as that. If anyone makes you that uncomfortable or is pushy on a subject, de-friend; Point and click [delete]. The end.
Honestly? I feel the exact same way about some of the exact same issues. Trust me! You're not alone, if that gives you any glimmer of hope!
My biggest issue is with friendships. I try to even put myself out there and find time to hang out and spend time with my friends, but it all-of-a-sudden seems like I'm the only person staying home. And, though I'm not, any other SAHM I know has a much busier schedule than I do. Which I don't mind, I just wish they'd think to find time to hang out with me instead of always hanging out with their other busy SAHM-friends.
Wow! Finally got that off my chest…
I hope you know that even though things seem tough at times it is truly just a season that you have to endure to get you through 'til the next one. And, believe you me, you have a wonderful life, a wonderful husband, a wonderful son; which is more than you may have ever dreamed of.
I will continue to pray for you. Just know that God is still there; He still wants you to know that He's there to take care of you, to be a shoulder to cry or lean on. Let Him be your Rock during any difficult time. Trust me, you are loved far more than you can imagine and tough times will come, but will eventually pass as well!
I'm sure you already know all of this, but a reminder can never hurt, right? You are so strong! And these things (leaning on God) WILL only make you stronger!
I am the EXACT same way about ALL of those.
1. I am frustrated about everything and can't seem to see anything positive lately.
2. I am in the middle of a facebook uproar wildfire battle right now and it makes me want to close it. It is unbelievable the way people react and handle to things. I tried to stay out of it but they keep sending the messages to me as well, I keep deleting them and not replying and then they are mad that I am not joining in! Guh!
3. I just arrived here in Texas, and I was so excited to get here… and now I feel so alone and like I will never meet anyone. And now the soldier is deploying again… I am new, don't know a soul, and he is deploying already. *sigh*
4. What is this "vacation" thing… I have heard of them before, but never experienced one. The drive through Cali during our PCS? Is that a "vacation?!" No.
5. I probably AM the opinionated mom. I don't bash people for how they do things, I may strongly disagree and their way may drive me nuts, but I don't say anything unless they ask. But it is very hard to stay friends with some people who are so drastically different with parenting. I a lot of times slowly separate myself from that friendship afraid that something bad will happen because of our very strongly different opinions.
6. I LOVE bleach.
Anonymous, I wasn't trying to say I was looking for praise, butwas more wondering if what I am doing is helping people. It's hard to tell, and it seems like what I do is sometimes pointless. I knew someone was going to misunderstand that…
Anonymous must have not heard you- I don't think someone's blog (or any place, for that matter) is a place to attack them. That is the very reason I don't allow unnamed people to comment on my blog anymore.
I just wanted to let you know that you're definitely not alone. I have and still do feel many of those things. It seems like so many things pile up and happen at once, and it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not so much advice, but I wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat.
My turn for honesty. Sometimes honesty sucks but it is so much better than trying to please everyone and killing ourselves! So kudos to you for being honest and anyone who doesn't like it can kick rocks. Sometimes I wish I had a blog to just vent out like this! But I am too busy not being honest and trying to please- which ends up pleasing half the people and pissing off the other half. But what can I do. I am too old and too tired for the drama, and yet I still am not honest. As for FB- half the stuff on their is a mask. People only allow others into windows of their lives for their own reasons. Maybe life isn't what they want, but FB has afforded everyone to paint their own windows. Jealousy is a difficult feeling to deal with, but more often than not, that green grass is not always as green when you are standing in the yard. You go for being bold enough to share honesty!
Finding your stride in your life, finances, etc. after you have a baby is tough and sometimes it takes a while. Don't stress about it too much. If you're wanting to change your finances (or try) so you can have a little wiggle room, build a savings, pay off debt, or whatever- I'd suggest checking out Dave Ramsey. You can rent his book from the library and go from there. He refers to the Bible quite a bit and has some great biblical analogies that he uses.
Sometimes it is hard being a mom because of other moms. I'm one of the more "crunchy" moms. I've been flamed for using vinegar/water/essential oil mixture for my "all purpose" cleaner instead of the store bought bleach stuff (I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to call poison control because one of my kids got into a cleaner that has harsh chemicals), using cloth diapers, wearing my kids, to being a laid back parent. It goes both ways, mainstream parents don't even take the time to try and understand why we do what we do and why the "crunchy" living works for us… it's hard for me to be friends with people who aren't crunchy (or at least a little bit) because my "mainstream" friends constantly poke fun…. or make the statement you did about being tired of hearing about it.
The beauty of Facebook is that you can hide newsfeeds for anyone you wish. I am also choosy about who I accept friend request from.
In my experience, there is actually very little competitions among moms. Sure, there are the couple of bad apples, but overall, I find that majority of us supportive and open to different ideas about how to raise our children. After all, how boring would the world be if we were all the same?
I hope you get out of your rut soon and things start looking up again!
You are definitely not alone in those feelings.
Life has mountains and valleys. I'd say my family is also in one of those valleys at the moment and as rough as things are right now, I know there will be another mountain…on God's time of course.
Thankfully I avoid most of the Facebook drama but with some of the friends I have, drama is inevitable. Even without Facebook, we'd all still be dealing with it in real life. At least with Facebook its easier to ignore. I think so anyways.
Hubby and I have had two weekend vacations over the time we've been together. We've been together for almost five years and married about two and a half years. One was before we were married and one was after when he was home for R&R (he spent most of our first year of marriage deployed). We didn't have a honeymoon (he was in the middle of pre-deployment training when we got married). I definitely understand the desire to get away. And its definitely not in our budget either. Especially with a little one now. And especially when you have recovery troubles. I am so tired of my OB and now they think I need physical therapy. Okay back on track cause this is about you lol.
The mom thing is so true! I get so frustrated because of all of the "advice" I get. Some of the advice is good but most of the time its "Well I did [whatever the topic is] this way…" I have no advice for how to deal with it but I do know that your little boy is happy and healthy and you should just follow your mommy instincts because you are doing a wonderful job.
And last but not least, the natural thing. I have recently become very pationate about natural child birth (after a horrible hospital experience having Emy) but I try not to force that onto others. As far as everything else natural, its so not part of our family either. We do use huggies pure and natural diapers but that's because Emy got a rash from other diapers. There are some things I wouldn't mind going all "crunchy" about but we're pretty settled with how things are and we're all happy. No reason to fix something that's not broken.
Gosh my comment was forever long. Sorry. I'm still your friend even if its just here in cyberspace. Hopefully your mountain is just around the corner but until then wrap yourself in the knowledge that you serve a wonderful God and there are lots of people who love you.
I am so sorry things have been hard for you. I can understand because the last few weeks have been CRAZY for me. Its hard when people attack you and you thought you were doing something good. It hurts. THats when I think we really have to give it to God, and like you said, Do what is best for you. Your true friends and real friends will understand you and be there for you. You keep doing what GOd has called you to do, and the ministry He has called you to do. Satan will attack you in many ways when you are doing the will of God….Just remember, GOD WILL WIN…Keep being honest with yourself and God, thats all you can do! Hang in there girl 🙂
Vacation… yep, I'm with everyone else! Right now though, I'd just settle for regular date nights.
As for #3, yeah, it's nice to get acknowledged and appreciated for hard work. When it doesn't come, I know I start to question whether what I'm doing is "good enough" and if anyone's even noticed at all!
I LOVE YOU
love ur bro
I loved this post. Sorry If I have been pushy as far as crunchy/natural stuff. It's easy to get caught up in but lately I'm like, who cares? I don't know…people take it way too far IMO. I try to share info where it's helpful but it really bothers me that motherhood has been reduced to nothing but a bunch of labels.
Really behind on reading…so I am trying to catch up…
I am with ya on the vacation thing….this deployment is kicking me hard right now. Holding on for R&R and hopeful that a little getaway will work out. Our budget does not allow for vacations or many date nights at all, but since my husband has been gone I have been putting away a little each month so we can do something. Its not much, but a little eventually goes a long way.
I remember being a new mom and the competion that comes with it…it does get better I promise…until the kids get involved in sports (or at least that has been my perspective,ha) Just know that what you are doing is what is best for your family and others opinions are just that, opinions. Tune them out and keep doing what is best for your family. Every once in a while you will receive great tips though so don't tune out too much =)